| . |
    MESSAGE FROM THAILAND: My brother lives and works in Phuket, Thailand. This is an email we just received this morning: Dec 31th, 2004 Thank you all so very much for your concern and your worry. This has been a very sad time for many of us here in Kamala, but also a time of great anguish and loss for many more around Phuket and elsewhere in the Andaman region. Meu and I are fine since our house is situated on the side of one of the mountains surrounding Kamala and several kilometers from the beach. We were shaken awake about 8:00 am by the severe vibration of our house and gusting winds from the west. The shaking gradually subsided and we went back to sleep, with plans to go to the beach when we woke up. Just two hours later the road up our mountain was crowded with villagers and tourists, many carrying bundles wrapped in towels and cloth. If it wasn't for such a divergent mix of people you might have thought that it was a street party. The power had already gone out and the water was not running to our house. Meu went down to find out what was happening and that was the first we had learned of the waves. More were still on their way and the police were trying to get as many as they could to evacuate their homes and move inland. Not seeing too many people who we knew in the crowd, we tried calling those friends who have homes, restaurants and bars along the beach. The cell phone service was completely overwhelmed and it seemed that we only had sporadic contact when we did get a call out. The network has been swamped ever since, even until today, thereby making it very difficult to locate anyone, provided that they even still had their cellphones. We had battery powered computers at my house and tried to get more information as to what was actually happening. The land line phone was miraculously still working so we could dial out to the internet service and discover the earthquake in Sumatra and what the news was saying. Going down to the beach later that afternoon, after the water seemed to have subsided, everyone was horrified by the complete, utter devastation of the beach and surrounding areas. Cars, trucks, motorcylces, beach furniture, walls and thatched roofs were just strewn everywhere, a lot floating in the sea as well. We saw vehicles that had been flung into the ground floors of hotel rooms, flooded to the ceiling with water. Bodies were everywhere and most people just didn't know what to do about that. It became immediately obvious that anyone who was on the beach sunbathing or swimming were just carried hundreds of meters into the surrounding jungle area. No one in Thailand had ever seen a tsunami before. And no one expected to see such destruction on such an otherwise perfect day. That made it seem even more surreal. When the water first receded, there were evidently a lot of Thai children who ran out to collect the fish flopping around the exposed ocean floor. A friend our ours, who was near the beach when the water first began rushing out, said that he also saw a kayaker and two jet-skiiers stranded trying to walk back to the beach when the waves came. There were so many people in shock that is was difficult to know where to start helping. Everyone was looking for someone. There were heart-wrenching tales of tourists who couldn't find their spouses or their children. The sound of people crying was everywhere. Some just looked completely dazed and confused. I will never be able to forget the hopelessness that so overwhelmed one mother who had lost her two children swimming in the hotel pool. They were just sucked right out to sea in front of her and there was nothing she could do. If anyone can imagine that feeling, then you could imagine the numbness, shock and disbelief that these people are still going through. There was no power, no light, cell phones weren't working and no help seemed to be coming. Fortunately, it was a full moon and the sky was clear. Many of the surviving tourists had to evacutate their hotels without any personal belongings and were taken into one of the hotels that didn't suffer any damage, a Scandinavian hotel called Kamala Bay Garden Resort. There, the owners opened their facilities as a refugee center and there were hundreds who came to that place. I spent most of my time trying to use my language ability to help translate for many of the Swedes, French and Italians who were trying to locate missing loved ones or just get information about where they should go and transporting some volunteer medical people, who were here on holiday, to the various locations where they could be made use of. Later, we've been helping clean the beach area of debris and making huges bonfires on the beach. The extent of the devastation is still being determined, but we have many friends who have lost their lives, their homes and their businesses. Kamala is really such a small village that there aren't many people here who weren't affected in some way by this tsunami. It's been five days since the waves struck our shores and there are still bodies being pulled out of the debris. My friend Charlie, who I work with at Phuket FantaSea, has been running coffins, plastic sheeting, water and rice up to Kao Lak, a resort area about 60 miles north of us which seems to have been hit the hardest with over 2000 tourists and untold numbers of Thai nationals dead. Many of the Thai locals here, who worked on the beach, have family deeper in Kamala village where the waves didn't reach and where they are currently able to stay. Many homes here are doubling and tripling up with additional homeless people until their places can be rebuilt. But there were many more who lived and worked on the beach, people from all over Thailand who come to work the high season and stay in simple bamboo huts with thatched roofs along the beach. Many of them were caught sleeping and there are too many missing even now. Meu and I knew many of these people since we spend a great deal of time on the beach and, even without really knowing many of their names, we had established a communal familiarity with most of them. They would always smile, wave and welcome us when we came to the beach and everyone, it seemed, always remembered Gai Sela when she would come with us and always asked about her when she wasn't. Half of Kamala village is even now without power or running water. Street lights are not working and the waning moon, beach fires and candlelight are providing most of what illumination there is in that part of Kamala. There is also a very noticable stench in the air that permeates everything between the beach and the main road and debris is piling up everywhere as men and machinery try to sift through the wreckage. Since the grandson of the King also died in this tsunami, there will be no public celebrations for the New Year in Thailand, and most people are either wearing black or white to mourn the dead today and tomorrow. As I said, it's too sad a time to even consider a Happy anything. There are a few stories of miraculous survival and some amazing luck among many of the survivors, but there are still many more, much sadder stories being told around the village these days. Even now, though, people are starting to rebuild and exclaiming with some confidence that they can be up and running again in just two weeks or perhaps a bit more time.. So life goes on and will eventually return to some kind of normalacy soon. But this will never be forgotten. Since we don't have the water supply and sanitation problems that currently exist in India and Sri Lanka, we are not in such danger for Cholera, dysentary and other related diseases that those people are facing. So in that respect, we got off a lot lighter than other places. There is still a lot of standing, stagnant water in many places and that is a common breeding place for mosquitoes, but that's a much lesser problem than elsewhere as well. Friends of ours have taken many pictures Kamala since the tsunami came and it appears as if one of them is about to make a website where over 200 photographs will be posted. I'll let you know when that goes online for anyone interested. There is still much work to be done and it will take some time before the true extent of the damage is determined and those people who survived can get back to a normal life. I'm on my way to Ko Samui on Monday to help organize an Andaman Aid Concert that friends of mine are already involved with. They were holding a Blues Festival on that island (off the East coast of Thailand and thereby not at all afftected by the tsunami) and have decided to donate all profits to the immediate relief of people here in Thailand and elsewhere (depending on how much they can raise). Blues player John Lee Hooker's daughter, Zukiaya Hooker, was on Samui doing a Blues and World Music Festival and has been trying to organize other international bands to come join them and help raise money for Andaman Disaster Relief Fund. I apologize about sending out a group letter like this, but I was so amazed and a bit overwhelmed with the many emails that we have received in recent days and your many expressions of concern for our well-being. In time, I will make a more personalized correspondence to each of you. But for now, I would like to thank you for your concern and for taking the time to send us your emails during this time of great tragedy and sadness. We wish you the best of everything in the New Year and hope that you all be well and happy. Thank You so much. Take Care, Have Fun and Play Well With Others Love, Lory and Meu Colin at 4:35 AM Quote of the Day: I've noticed that the one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse. - Dave Barry Today's BOTD:  I'm taking a blogging day off tomorrow (not posting, just visiting other bloggers), so I'm putting New Year's Eve stuff up a day early. I'll be back on Monday. Have a happy and safe New Year's Eve.  For you celebrating First Nighters out there, be careful:  These next 2 signs kinda go together, don't 'cha think?   Here ya go, girls:  Nice panties, girl:  Nice top, too:  The Chinese calendar might suggest otherwise, but 2004 was the Year of the Boob — from Britney Spears' quickie Vegas wedding, to Janet Jackson's now-legendary Super Bowl striptease, to the owners of the $28,000 grilled cheese sandwich, boobs were everywhere in 2004:  Speaking of boobs:  Cool Unusual Snow Crystals:  For you dog owners out there:  Neat work desktop stuff:  Goodbye, Lennie:  ********************** A young couple are having sex in a muddy corn field one evening. The fellow asks, "Honey, could you check to see if it's in you or if it's in the mud???" She reaches down and checks. "It's in the mud." "Well,... could you put it back in???" She puts it back in and they continue having sex for a while before he asks again, "Honey, could you check to see if it's in you or if it's in the mud???" She checks again and says, "It's still in me, big fella!!!" "Ummm,... could you put it back in the mud?" ********************** Q:What is the definition of "making love"? A:Something a woman does while a guy is boinking her. ********************** What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well Hung. Later on, Crouton  Colin at 4:25 AM Quote of the Day: A truck full of chickens overturned on the Long Island Expressway. Hundreds of chickens crossed the road but no one has been able to figure out why. - Norm MacDonald Today's Hump Day Hunkette:  For youze Brudettes, here's a Hump Day Hunk:  Of course, for your OFFICIAL Hump Day Hunk, you simply must go here:  EEEEEEEEEE!!!!  A bad Christmas present idea -- Jacko in the Box:  Paris Hilton's new sweatshirt:  Mornings Have Never Been So Invigorating! Tired of waking up and having to wait for your morning java to brew? Are you one of those groggy early morning types that just needs that extra kick? Know any programmers who dont regularly bathe and need some special motivation? Introducing Shower Shock, the original and world's first caffeinated soap from ThinkGeek. When you think about it, ShowerShock is the ultimate clean buzz ;) Shower Shock is an all vegetable based glycerine soap which does *not* contain any harsh ingredients like ethanol, diethanolamine, polyethylene glycol or cocyl isethionate. So it's a gently invigorating soap ;) Scented with peppermint oil and infused with caffeine anhydrous, each bar of Shower shock contains approximately 12 servings/showers per 4 ounce bar with 200 milligrams of caffeine per serving. No, we're not kidding and no you don't eat it. The caffeine is absorbed through the skin... Have smelly co-workers that sleep in too much? Give them the gift of Shower Shock...  With 2004 fast comin' to a close, let's take a look back, shall we?  When young women seek a husband, they prefer men with THIS body type. This may surprise you. It surprised me, I guarantee.  Women Desire This Male Body Type:
When it comes to choosing a husband--someone who will be faithful, strong, and always there--women really do prefer scrawny over brawny. Think Ray Romano instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's the finding of a new study of 325 college women conducted by researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles. While women seek out muscular men for fun flings and view them as more attractive and better in bed, they definitely don't want to marry them. Why? They're seen as being "less faithful, less likely to treat them well, and less emotionally sensitive," study co-author David Frederick, told HealthDayNews. Call it the revenge of the scrawny guys. When it comes to settling down with a lifetime partner, these are the men that women find most attractive, according to the UCLA study. "When women are choosing mates--except for very attractive women--they're facing a tradeoff of choosing a guy who's very sexy or one who will stick around and treat them well," Frederick explained. This explains why Jennifer Aniston married Brad Pitt--and why the girl next door didn't. The study: Frederick surveyed more than 300 college-age women about their preferences in male physiques and then measured their reactions after they looked at pictures of real and computer-generated men of varying levels of muscular fitness, reports HealthDayNews. The results: Men with muscular physiques were rated nearly twice as sexy as non-muscular men, but they were also rated twice as intimidating and dominant. "Based on the theory we're working under, most women wouldn't choose to marry Brad Pitt because he has so many short-term dating opportunities," Frederick concluded. Most women believe that someone that good-looking would not remain faithful to them. "The average woman would probably go for the Ray Romano guy as the long-term marriage partner," he said. Gordon G. Gallup Jr., a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany, told HealthDayNews that the UCLA findings likely reflect human habits developed through evolution. That is, when women choose life partners, they may be seeking men who will "invest in the family and their offspring and make a long-term, committed investment in the relationship," said Gallup. Fair or not, muscular men may be viewed "as more likely to play the field and less likely to make commitments," he added. The study findings were reported at a meeting of the western region of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality in San Diego. On the flip side, what we have here is the high cost of divorce:  *********************** A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That's much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year." Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:29 AM A lot of servers seem to be falling off-line like dominos, and coupled with the Christmas break, there's just a smattering of good stuff out there. Jessica Simpson as 'Daisy Duke' in the new Dukes of Hazard movie. Today's BOTD:    You've heard of The Bad News Bears, or perhaps even The Vermont Teddy Bear Company. But, if you're like me, then this site's for us -- The Bad Taste Bears:  I don't think she's convinced:  A man who drank himself into a coma and lay near death in a hospital bed suddenly woke up after hearing that his boss had commanded, "Get your ass back to work!" Bill DiPasquale's miracle recovery stunned his family and friends, who were positive he was a goner. In November, after DiPasquale was dismissed from his waiter's job at Abe & Louie's steakhouse in Boston because of a booze problem, he locked himself in his Revere, Mass., home and drank himself unconscious. Relatives found him near death on Dec. 2 and took him to Massachusetts General Hospital, where he was put on life support. But with hope fading, his family last week decided to pull the plug.......... Tough Girlz:  Speaking of girlz, here ya go:  Britney has absolutely no sense of fashion:  Oooh, expensive Designer Barbies:  My Kinda Printer:  ******************** Church Bulletin Bloopers: Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands." Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight "Searching for Jesus" Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Don't let worry kill you off-let the Church help. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM.- prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:18 AM Got (what I think is) a lot of good stuff this morning. So let's not dilly dally, shall we? Ooooh, 12 inches of new snow awaited us this morning...and cold too -- sheesh. Today's BOTD:  Today's Theme - Fun with Gingerbread: Let me start out by saying what I did last Friday, Christmas Eve day. Since we were heading to my younger sister's house for Christmas dinner on Saturday, I thought it would be nice if The Lovely D went to the market to find something nice to bring down with us. It had to be unusual, since my family has tons of food for these get-togethers, including a variety of homemade pies for dessert. So, I'm cruising up and down the market aisles when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a beautiful gingerbread house complete with icing, gum drops, and other tasty accutrements. There was only one left, so I snagged it. After putting it in the cart, I decided to check on the cost, so I started looking for the price tag. Nope, no tag. It was then that I realized what I had done. I had made off the the gingerbread house display model which was advertising for gingerbread house "make it yourself" kits. Well, I figured there was no harm in asking if I could buy it...and the sales clerk said 'What the Hell' and sold it to me for the same price the kits were selling for. Hey, I didn't just fall off a turnip truck, ya know -- if there's an easy way out, I'll find it. Nice Violin:  A Gingerbread CPU:  Of course, a laptop:  And now, what makes gingerbread really fun...the Kama Sutra:  Now this is cool: New Yorkers go about unaware of what is happening just beneath their feet: Power pulses, information flies, and steam flows. The city's infrastructure starts just below street level, but it doesn't stop there:  The thumb wrestling ring:  Road rage in Beverly Hills:  Oh, a new safety device for cars -- front end springs:  Hmmm...the CIA home page just for kids:  The reason I can't sleep sometimes:  Just what the hell were these guys trying to sell?  No wonder the interview didn't go quite as well as you hoped:  Speaking of jobs, not one I'd want:  Just a day at the beach:  Welcome to Japan:  The Nokia Compact Cell Phome for Women:  We got everything here a guy needs except for the beer:  Cool top to a wedding cake, right girls?  Now Here's a Different Kinda Cop Car:  What's wrong with this picture (I got it right away):  This next one is for my very good bud KAREN who loves peanut butter:  Peanut Butter Packs a Healthy Punch
Peanut Butter, Nuts Contain Vitamins That Many American Diets Lack By Kelli Miller Stacy WebMD Medical News Eating two spoonfuls of peanut butter straight from the jar may seem like a guilty pleasure, but new research shows it could be a healthy habit. Researchers from Pennsylvania State University found that men, women, and children who ate a daily dose of peanuts or peanut butter were better able to meet the Recommended Daily Allowance (RDA) for vitamins and nutrients than those who steered clear. A single serving of peanut butter is equal to two tablespoons. One ounce of nuts equals one serving. Including peanuts and peanut butter daily in a calorie-balanced diet can help meet nutrient goals set by the U.S. government, nutritionist and study researcher Penny Kris-Etherton, PhD, RD, says in a news release. The study was funded in part by The Peanut Institute. The findings are published in the December issue of the Journal of American College of Nutrition. Specifically, the diets of peanut and peanut butter eaters were higher in vitamins A and E, folic acid, calcium, magnesium, zinc, iron, and fiber. Nuts are also loaded with monounsaturated fats, which have been linked to lower cholesterol. In recent years peanut butter and nuts have been shown to be part of a healthy diet. A Harvard study in 2002 showed that women who regularly ate peanut butter and nuts had a reduced risk of type 2 diabetes. And the more they ate, the lower their risk was. And in July 2003 the FDA approved a qualified health claim for almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, pistachios, walnuts, and peanuts for use in advertising and package labels. Packages of nut products that meet the FDA's requirement can now carry the following claim: "Scientific evidence suggests but does not prove that eating 1.5 ounces per day of most nuts, as part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol, may reduce the risk of heart disease." An ounce and a half serving of nuts is about a third of a cup or a small handful. In this new study, the researchers found that men and children who regularly ate nuts had lower cholesterol. There was no significant effect in women. But peanuts and peanut butter are high in fat, so there's a concern that eating too much could make a person gain weight. The researchers found that calorie intake was indeed higher in people who regularly ate nuts. However, BMI -- an indicator of body fat -- was actually lower in nut eaters. If you are allergic to peanuts, you do not have to eat peanut butter to get essential vitamins and nutrients. There are other ways to increase your intake of vitamins and minerals, such as eating more fruits and vegetables. Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice: A Nice Short History of Boobs:  Nice skiers (or ... 'But I thought you brought the sun block?')  Nice Chaps:  Um, Nice ... er, butts, girls:    Nice Lunch Date (maybe she's just trying to retrieve that silverware she dropped, ya think?):  Nice panties, girls: Follow the white rabbit (down the hole?)    *********************** Colonoscopies: An Australian physician has claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominantly male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!" 2. "Can you hear me NOW?" 3. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 4. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?" 5. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..." 6. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" 7. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!" 8. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." 9. "God, Now I know why I am not gay." 10. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:04 AM Talk about your mother of all bad travel days:  HEBRON, Ky. (Dec. 25) - Days of bad weather, a computer malfunction and sick airline employees put tens of thousands of travelers in holiday limbo Saturday, with Comair canceling all its flights and US Airways trying to reconnect thousands of pieces of luggage with their owners.
Throngs of waiting passengers milled about at Comair's hub at Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport. At Philadelphia International Airport, several hundred people stood in long lines at sparsely staffed US Airways check-in counters and piles of suitcases were scattered throughout the baggage claim area. Cynthia Mayer, waiting to return home to Hilton Head, S.C., on a Comair flight from Cincinnati, lost both her flight and her luggage, and said her earliest flight home would be late Monday night. "They offered me a toothbrush - a kit with a toothpaste and a toothbrush," Mayer said, chuckling. Comair, a Delta Air Lines subsidiary, canceled all its 1,100 flights on Saturday because computer problems knocked out its system that manages flight assignments, company spokesman Nick Miller said. The cancellations affected 30,000 travelers in 118 cities, he said. Miller said the company was trying to put travelers on Delta flights. Crews were working to see how many flights Comair could handle Sunday, but nothing was definite. "It's been a very busy holiday season and we deeply regret this problem for our customers," Miller said. Miller said the problem was triggered in part by flights canceled Thursday and Friday because of a winter storm that hit Ohio particularly hard. The airline had canceled most of its Thursday flights after it ran critically low on de-icer fluid. "There was a cumulative effect with the canceled flights and trying to get crew assigned that caused the system to be overwhelmed," he said. "It just stopped operating." US Airways, meanwhile, had passengers and thousands of pieces of luggage stranded at Philadelphia International Airport - for the third day in a row. Bleary-eyed John Price watched Saturday as airport workers sorted piles of unclaimed bags - none of them the suitcase full of presents for relatives he had checked on his Phoenix-to-Philadelphia flight Friday. "I can't show up empty-handed. That just doesn't cut it," he said. The airline blamed the canceled flights and baggage backups on severe weather Thursday compunded by record numbers of employees calling in sick, according to a company statement. Systemwide, the airline canceled 80 flights Saturday and 100 flights Friday, airline spokeswoman Amy Kudwa said. Spokespeople for the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, which represents US Airways baggage handlers, and the Association of Flight Attendants said they had not organized any job actions. "There is no union action. It's poor management planning, that's my opinion. ... We have sick calls every single year around the holiday," said Teddy Xidas, president of Association of Flight Attendants Local 40 in Pittsburgh. U.S. Transportation Secretary Norman Y. Mineta has directed senior officials to talk with US Airways management about problems at the airport, Transportation Department spokesman Robert Johnson said Saturday. Philadelphia is a US Airways hub, but the baggage backups extended to other East Coast airports. In Virginia, hundreds of unclaimed bags from US Airways flights were piled at Richmond International Airport and Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. Shirley Malave flew from Philadelphia to Florida on Saturday to be with relatives, but when she arrived in Tampa she discovered her luggage wasn't on the US Airways plane with her. She waited for two more flights from Philadelphia, but her luggage was on neither. "They ruined everybody's Christmas," said Malave, who lives near Tom's River, N.J. She was offered a $50 stipend to buy clothes, but on Christmas Day, "good luck trying to find something open," she said. "I have no clothes. Nothing." Extra flights carrying nothing but luggage were scheduled to fly from Philadelphia to the airline's bag processing facility in Charlotte, N.C., where workers could help process bags more quickly, Kudwa said. In Tampa and Miami, baggage delays on Delta flights were also reported. The airline did not immediately return a call seeking comment. Struggling US Airways, bankrupt for the second time in two years, says it needs to drastically cut labor costs if it is to survive beyond mid-January, when its interim financing arrangement with the federal government's Air Transportation Stabilization Board is set to expire. US Airways reservations and gate agents approved a new contract Thursday that cut pay by 13 percent. The airline still needs deals from its flight attendants and its machinists' union. Associated Press writers Jennifer Kay in Philadelphia and Mike Schneider in Orlando, Fla., contributed to this report. "© 2004 The Associated Press. ************************* Oh my brother lives in Phuket, Thailand, but he's okay  Quake, tsunami hit south Asia, 4,500 feared dead
By Simon Gardner COLOMBO, Dec 26 (Reuters) - The world's biggest earthquake in 40 years hit southern Asia on Sunday, unleashing a tsunami that crashed into Sri Lanka and India, drowning thousands and swamping tourist isles in Thailand and the Maldives. A wall of water up to 10 metres (30 feet) high triggered by the 8.9 magnitude earthquake swept into Indonesia, over the coast of Sri Lanka and India and across southern Thai tourist islands, leaving more than 4,500 feared dead in seaside towns and villages. Two-thirds of the Maldives capital, Male, was flooded and officials voiced anxiety for the fate of dozens of low-lying, palm-ringed coral atolls crowded with international tourists for the Christmas holiday season. Sri Lanka, where officials put the death toll at 2,200, appealed for emergency international assistance, President Chandrika Kumaratunga's office said. One million people, or 5 percent of the population, were affected, officials said. "The president has declared a state of national disaster due to the seriousness of the situation," her office said. India feared a devastating toll along its southeastern coast. In the state of Tamil Nadu alone, a government official said at least 1,625 had been killed. Rescuers were searching for hundreds of missing fishermen. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh put the armed forces on alert. The earthquake of magnitude 8.9 as measured by the U.S. Geological Survey first struck at 7:59 a.m (0059 GMT) off the coast of the northern Indonesian island of Sumatra and swung north with multiple tremors into the Andaman islands. In Thailand, at least 223 people had been killed and more than 1,000 injured, officials said. In popular holiday islands off southern Thailand, rescue workers extracted about 70 Thai and foreign divers from the famed Emeral Cave and several dozen were found and evacuated from around other islands, officials said. Two Thais were killed at Emeral cave, a major attraction for divers who have to swim underwater to its tiny beach and water illuminated by sunshine pouring through a hole in the roof, police said. Officials said more than 600 tourists and locals were being evacuated by air and sea from Ko Phi Phi, the tiny island made famous by the 2000 film "The Beach" starring Leonardo DiCaprio. The Thai government ordered the evacuation of stricken coastal areas, which included popular beach resorts on the islands of Phuket and Krabi. "Nothing like this has ever happened in our country before," said Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. BIGGEST QUAKE IN 40 YEARS The earthquake was the world's biggest since 1964, said Julie Martinez, geophysicist at the U.S. Geological Survey in Golden, Colorado. "It is multiple earthquakes along the same faultline." It was the fifth-largest earthquake since 1900, she said. "These big earthquakes, when they occur in shallow water, ... basically slosh the ocean floor ... and it's as if you're rocking water in the bathtub and that wave can travel basically throughout the ocean," USGS geophysicist Bruce Presgrave told the BBC. In Sri Lanka, thousands fled the worst tsunami in living memory, scrambling to higher ground for fear of another wave. "The army and the navy have sent rescue teams; we have deployed over four choppers and half the navy's eastern fleet to look for survivors," said military spokesman Brigadier Daya Ratnayake. The worst-hit area appeared to be the tourist region of the south and east where beach hotels were inundated or swept away. "Our naval base in Trincomalee is underwater and right now we are trying to manage the situation there while rescuing people," said navy spokesman Jayantha Perera. In the low-lying Maldives, President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom was to declare a national disaster in the archipelago whose coral atolls are a magnet for tourists from around the world, said chief government spokesman Ahmed Shaheed. "The damage is considerable," Shaheed said. "The island is only about three feet (one metre) above sea level and a wave of water four feet (1.3 metres) high swept over us." The international airport was unusable, he said. "It is a very bad situation. It is terrible," Shaheed said. "As you know it is the peak tourist season. We are trying to get reports from those areas. The whole of the Maldives is a tourist area so we are just hoping and praying." The world's worst tsunami in recent history struck on July 17, 1998, when three waves ripped through Papua New Guinea's northwest coast, killing 2,500. CHILDREN TORN FROM PARENTS' ARMS At least 483 people were killed on Sunday on Indonesia's Sumatra island where the wave washed people out to sea and tore children from their parents' arms, officials said. Indonesia, an archipelago of 17,000 islands, lies along the Pacific Ring of Fire where plate boundaries intersect and volcanoes regularly erupt. To the north in Thailand, officials reported one wave 5 to 10 metres (16 to 32 feet) high hit hotel-lined beaches on Phuket. "It happened in cycles. There would be a surge and then it would retreat and then there would be a next surge which was more violent and it went on like that," Paul Ramsbottom, a Briton on holiday in a Phuket beach bungalow, told BBC World tv. "Then there was this one almighty surge. I mean literally this was the one which was picking up pickup trucks and motorcycles and throwing them around in front of us," he added. One foreigner was known to be among the dead in Krabi. Thai television showed scenes of devastation on one Phuket beach. Store fronts were damaged and cars and motorcycles were strewn around after being tossed about by the powerful waves. A Thai man carried one elderly Western man in swimming trunks to safety on his back, ITV showed. About 100 people had died in Madras alone, the city's police commissioner, K. Natarajan, told reporters. "The bodies in the hospital are mostly young women and children." © Reuters Ltd. All rights reserved. Later on, Crouton Colin at 6:21 AM Just a short one for this Chstmas eve day. I'll be back on Monday with a full blown blog post. I hope everyone has a wonderful day tomorrow. Only 2 days left:  For some of you girls out there:  This is for Dave who can't see the URLs in my links: 
URL: http://space.jpl.nasa.gov/ 
URL: http://www.neave.com/lab/space/planetarium.html The Ugly underside of On-Line poker:  Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:39 AM Quote of the Day: Moses dragged us for 40 years through the desert to bring us to the one place in the Middle East where there was no oil." - Golda Meir Today's BOTD:  Nice festive panties, girl:  Here's somethimg for that office butt kisser:  Hey girls you wanna unique paper weight (or conversation piece) for your office cube? Then a Mister Limpy may be just the ticket:  What makes women happy?  Paper cars: Morgan Porsche Spitfire Another one of them wacky wacky statues:  Have you met my twin sister?  These shoes must belong to a stripper:  I wanna grow up to be just like Dad:  Top 10 Film Urban Legends:  Ooooh, Triple Z's:  Arrest Me, PAH-LEEZE!  *********************** A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!" She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes..." Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:36 AM This is for my very good bud Karen who kicked butt on her BL exam and doing great in the class overall. Congrats, sweetie!!  Quote of the Day: You want my recipe for Trail Mix? Plain M&Ms. Kraft Caramels. Peanut M&Ms. It gets me over the mountain. - Rosanne We're descending fast on Christmas Day:  Today's Hump Day Hunkette:  Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls, Jingle all the way. For youze Brudettes a Hump Day Hunk:  Of course, go here for the official Hump Day Hunk: Oh, catchy name:  Nice Top for girls:  Oh Lordy, we must be in Texas:   These two girls got it right:  Oooh, more Christmas lights:  Cool Site: Oh-Oh, this ain't no Charmin:  Something for the office:  Oh Safety first when viewing a solar eclipse:  Hey Boss, I had a slight accident:  Clever doggie carrying case:  And now for some ads:    *********************** A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS." The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and he would look for it. The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read, "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem." Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:40 AM BOTD:  My Christmas List:   Fascinating Myths of Christmas:
What if it were against the law to celebrate Christmas? It was in the mid-17th century. The Puritans outlawed Christmas, blasting it as another one of those idol-worshipping religious festivals well worth expunging. Reformist Protestants even levied fines on those individuals who dared to miss work on Christmas Day. That's the word from Anthony Aveni, a Colgate University professor and author of "The Book of the Year: A History of Our Holidays," which explores the myths and origins of the December 25 holiday extending back to Neolithic cultures. Here are some other myths, facts, and fables about Christmas, uncovered by Aveni: The Bible does not supply concrete information on exactly when Christ was born. No astrological indicators exist that point to December 25. The earliest record comes from a 354 A.D. calendar description of a holiday in which Romans lit candles to celebrate the sun's birthday. Church officials, "impressed with the ritual's symbolic bringing back of light into the world," claimed the date of December 25. Roman Emperor Constantine officially recognized it as the celebration of Jesus' birth in the 4th century A.D. The Middle Ages marked the origin of many traditional Christmas symbols such as the Yule log, holly, and caroling. The burning Yule log (Yule comes from the Scandinavian jol or jul which means "jolly") symbolized the time in which bonfires raged to "beckon the reappearance of winter's holy light." The Farmer's Almanac also got its start in the Middle Ages during the 12 days of Christmas. People used these days to predict weather by recording sunny and snowy days in a system that became the precursor of the modern day Farmer's Almanac. In the early 19th century, German and Dutch Protestant immigrants resurrected the Christmas holiday to its original status. St. Nicholas also gained prominence during the Victorian era. Originally Santa Claus was not regarded as the rotund gift bearer in an airborne sled that we all know today. It was Clement Clark Moore's 1822 poem that first promoted this image. Santa's Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer sprang from a commercial endeavor in 1939. A Montgomery Ward employee wrote the original story as part of a promotional "giveaway" program. The song gained prominence in the late 1940s. "The paradox of Christmas today lies in the confrontation of the consumer's strong materialism sense and the decidedly nonmaterialistic values of religious celebrants," Aveni explains. "But obviously Christmas is a reinvented tradition. Our capacity to change its meaning to suit the times is the force that keeps it alive." ************************ Okay boyz, let's all grunt like Tim Allen on Home Improvement: What's with all these air fresheners with names like "Lilac Ambrosia" or "Daffodil Delight?" Give us a freakin' break! We know what scents get us going, and "Rosewater Rhapsody" isn't one of them. If you want to really know what makes our bacon sizzle, just sizzle some bacon. Mmmmmmm. That's the ticket. Now you can get air fresheners that capture the fragrance you really crave... MEAT!   Imagine filling your bedroom with the alluring smell of a barbecued steak. Or climbing into your car to encounter the heavenly scent of smoked bacon. It's all possible with these Funky Fresh Meat-Scented Air Fresheners: We tested them out, and the Bacon kicked up a subtle smoked-meat smell. And the Steak Scented Air Freshener has made our Stupid cubicles smell like mini Outback Steakhouses! Get both Meat Scented Air Fresheners for just $4.99! *************************** Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a new church in their neighborhood. The pastor said "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks to show will-power." The couples all agreed and came back at the end of 2 weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for 2 weeks?" The old man replied.. "No problem at all, Pastor". "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. Then he went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for 2 weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad, but the second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights..but, yes, we made it." "Congratulations..Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked the same question, "Were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No, pastor, we weren't able to make it", the young man replied sadly. "What happened, my son?" inquired the pastor. "Well, my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there!" "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" said the pastor sadly. "We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Safeway anymore either." Later on, Crouton Colin at 5:03 AM Thank you all for leaving a comment on my blog wishing me a Happy Birthday (and, of course, on the loss of my beloved puppy). Since we're supposed to have 5 to 7 inches of snow today, I won't be moving outta the house (and yes, I'll have a roaring fire going in the fireplace in about an hour or so). So I'm a-gonna be at home all day, and I'll have plenty of time to be a-comin' around to visit each of your blogs today so's I can personally thank each of y'all for the best wishes.  Saturday, my daughter The Lovely Kim and her b/f, The Handsome Mark, took us all out to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants -- Bugaboo Creek Steak House.
Never heard of it, eh? Click on the moose to find out all about it. Well, picture The Outback restaurant only with a Canadian Rockys theme, with a moose as the star of the show (they have a mechanical moosehead mounted on the wall that cracks kid's jokes every 15 minutes). And at Christmas, they put up a moving and talking Christmas tree (that also cracks kid jokes). And wow, do the young ones love it. But the retaurant's built mainly for adults (example: the Moose Juice drink, which is pineapple chunks that have been marinated in vodka, next pureed in a blender, then poured into a glass with still more vodka...yowza!). I had my usual, steak and a baked potato (with the potato loaded down with plenty of butter and sour cream, of course), which was DE-LISH, I guarantee. The staff came around and sang Happy Birthday to me (which I wasn't really crazy about happening, but I was just the guest of honor and had no say about it). We finished up with a yummy chocolate moose, er ... mousse filled cake. Quote of the Day: We live in a mobile home. Hey, there are some advantages to living in a mobile home. One time, it caught on fire. We met the fire department halfway there. - Ronnie Shakes Merry Christmas. Today's BOTD:  Today's Theme -- By The Numbers: 100 Things (more or less) That Men Must Know:  Check this out:  Speaking of a Top 10:  Speaking of Christmas... (Yes, I was -- see BOTD, above): No snow for a White Christmas where you live? No problem, Boobula. Here ya go:  Oh-Oh. Looks like Uncle Stan has had way too much Holiday Cheer:  Ooooh, someone left a little snack for Santa:  As we start the headfirst slide to the big day, here are some gift No-No's:  Well okay, how's about an eye massager, then?  Of course, if'n you got a few extra bucks lying around, how's about s special edition VW:  What, short on cash? Well, the least you can do is bring over the dessert:  Shrek 3 - The Adult Sequel:  The ORIGINAL Tampax:  Oh Lordy, it's sooo cold ....   Speaking of cold, for you girls that gotta wear dresses or skirts to work in the cold weather --
A muff warmer:  Not just a wedgie, but an ATOMIC wedgie:  And now for some wacky, wacky road signs:     This is just a silly sign (an ad campaign that coulda used a little more thought, perhaps?):  Why they call a ship a 'SHE':  Nice tat, girl:  ************************* Sherlock Holmes's sister, Ella, was a bit confused--not that she suffered from dementia or anything--she simply was a bit "blonde". She was always getting her two twins confused, even though they were fraternal, not identical, and everyone else could easily tell Patricia from Theresa. One day Sherlock's sister invited the great detective and his assistant to a piano recital that Patsy was to give the following evening. When she left, Sherlock's assistant said, rather bewilderedly, to Sherlock, "I didn't know Patsy was studying the piano." To which Holmes replied, "Ella meant Terry, my dear Watson." Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:39 AM Thanks to these great people for their kind thoughts on the recent loss of my loyal and faithful doggie last week: My very good bud KAREN for her comment and condolence card; To my blogging friend MONKEY for posting my loss in his blog; And for Miller's comment on my post. Your kind thoughts were greatly appreciated by The Lovely D and me. And it was so very nice to chat on the phone with my bud KAREN yesterday. Got your birthday card yesterday too, thanks!! I couldn't ask for a better friend than you (and you beat out any boat by a longshot). Lub ya, sweetie. TGIF:  This is my short-term plan. Hey, if it's good enough for the week, then it's good enough for the weekend:  Quote of the Day: There are many alternate uses for lipstick, like writing dirty jokes on men's urinals. Of course, after that you probably shouldn't investigate too many of those other uses. - Dakota Shepard Horny Lil Devil. Today's BOTD:  Grandma's fresh baked cookies:  Festivus for the rest of us:  For you boyz who are waiting for that Christmas present from UPS:  Speaking of Christmas prezzies, still searchin' high and low for that special gift for that certain someone who has everything? Try this:  LONDON (Reuters) - The British aristocracy has long been an exclusive club but now anyone can become a Lord or Lady -- for as little as 30 pounds ($58).
A raft of British Web sites are offering one square foot of the Glencairn Estate in northeast Scotland and, with it, access to the prestigious-sounding title of Lord/Laird and Lady of Glencairn. Buyagift.co.uk is offering the "fun" title as the "ideal gift for anyone who aspires to greatness" for 29.99 pounds, which includes a deed of ownership, a map of the Glencairn estate and a card which proves their title. Lastminute.co.uk and thanksdarling.com are also offering shoppers the chance to lord it up as a Glencairn, which is believed to be nothing more than a small plot of croft land with the title invented for it. One incensed aristocrat is fighting back at what he sees is a scam and is warning potential shoppers that buying the title of Lord, Viscountess, Baron or Earl is meaningless. The Earl of Bradford, whose own title dates from the 1800s, set up www.faketitles.com, after someone fraudulently passed himself off as Lord Newport, which is his son's title. "I will put it very simply: You cannot purchase a genuine British title," he warns on the site. Or to to take the drudgery outta ironing:  Oooh, Bungee Sex:  What Men Find Sexiest In Bed:  Nice top, girl:  National ID Cards -- You knew it was coming:  Fill her up, please ... the gas tank, I mean:  Top 10 Sports Villains:  *********************** Speaking of sports: Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?" Consider Michael Jordan, having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, he makes $178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there. If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415/hour more than minimum wage. If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $10,500 at 845am on January 1st. If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year. He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon. While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600. This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it? However... If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 500 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has at this very moment. Game over. Nerd wins. Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:55 AM Quote of the Day: God give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a huge friggin' bag of money. - David Levine Today's BOTD:  Oh you GOTTA read this:  Got these next two from my good bud Sandy: This has gotta suck if'n it happens to you:  Nice card (When you click on the site below, draw the cursor from left to right on the ornament and everything will come on the screen as intended. Also, click on the other 3 icons and it will go to night, snow flakes and music):  WTF?   *********************** One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Murphy's pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Murphy was 25 cents. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Murphy why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents. "Was that all you wanted?" Murphy replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in me shoe!" Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:21 AM Quote of the Day: Even as a kid, I knew someday I'd be in a profession where I could help people . . . Either that or a Viking 'cause man, you gotta admit, those helmets with horns are pretty cool. - Daniel Avrin Today's Hump Day Hunkette:  What, divorce ain't an option anymore?  PONTIAC, Mich. (Dec. 14) - A jury rejected an elementary school teacher's claim of self-defense and convicted her of murder Tuesday for hacking her husband to death with a
hatchet. Nancy Seaman, 52, faces a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole. The verdict came after two weeks of harrowing testimony, including graphic autopsy photos of Robert Seaman and Nancy Seaman's tearful claims that she was a battered wife who had been abused throughout her 31-year marriage and was defending herself during an attack by her husband. Prosecutors said Seaman argued with her husband on Mother's Day, went to Home Depot to buy a hatchet, returned and killed him with it. Police found Robert Seaman's body in his wife's sport utility vehicle a few days later. No doubt about the feelings here:  We must be in Idaho darlin', cause it's rainin' taters:  As PT Barnum once said, 'There's a sucker born every minute':  Oh PAH-LEZE, who comes up with these ideas?  This is the only girl I've ever met whose first name should be 'Postage':  Nice outfit, Hon:   Of course, gotta have a T-Shirt for the boyz:  Laughable Lawsuits:  *********************** A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic... " Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. Things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA! " "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed-they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!! "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook.... "I'll pick you up in ten minutes," said the mother Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:54 AM Quote of the Day: I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown Today's BOTD:  Happy Tuesday:  One Lowlife Down:  One More To Go:  Check this out:  Oh, this girl can say FU with her toes:  Winterize them wheels of yours:  My Kinda Taxi:  Hmmmm:  Finding a wife -- biblical style:  Another exciting place to live:  Need something funny, strange or just simply bizarre? ***************************** Morris the matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. "I'm ashamed to bring this up," he said, "but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants... a sample." The woman was shocked. "Such a thing you ask a virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman. What kind of a woman does he think I am?" The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, "He's a business man. He buys goods in the market and he sells goods. By him, it's not a big deal... just a sample." She thought a minute. "He's a business man? So tell him I don't give samples. If he wants, I can give him 50 or 60 references." Later on, Crouton Colin at 3:59 AM Quote of the Day: They say it's never too late to learn to play the piano, but at 2:30 am, I really wish my roommate would quit and go to bed. - Nathan Hansar Today's BOTD:   Oooh, a Rubik's Cube for blondes:  My kinda girl:   17 Warning Signs of a Bad Boyfriend:
You know the guy you're thinking about marrying is wrong for you if he has no friends, your parents and siblings don't like him, and his credit history doesn't check out. Sometimes the best words of wisdom don't come from academics or scientists with impressive titles and educational credentials. Sometimes the best advice comes from people who have been there and done that in the real world. Such is the case with a recent letter published in the syndicated Dear Abby advice column that listed 17 signs that your boyfriend is NOT the one you should marry. A married woman who said her husband now wanted a divorce passed along these tips to Dear Abby for the not-yet-married. If you see these red flags, she advises you to dump the guy: If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out. If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person's fault. If his children have nothing to do with him, do not believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him. My stepchildren have told me it was because they hated him, and they have good reasons. Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like. If he's over 30 and has no money, do not let him move in with you, and don't marry him until he's financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he'll insist on it. Be sure in your heart that you can live with him AS IS. You cannot change another person. This is a biggie: Beware if he has no friends. It is not true that they all chose to side with his ex. If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends. If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, run! If he is one personality at work or with others and another person alone with you, run. If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Don't take his word for it. If he's an expert at everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people, eventually maybe even you. If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem. If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser. If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be "your fault" forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame. If he does something wrong and says, "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't (fill in the blank)," that's another sign of an abuser. And if he's mean to children, pets, or animals, recognize that he's pathological, and the next victim could be you. What the hell kinda juicebar is this?  What Santa looks forward to in the off-season:  No doubt in my mind:  Ah-Ha! I always suspected saturn looked like this:   SPEARS STINKS OUT PLANE WITH FEET
Pop beauty BRITNEY SPEARS' smelly feet upset her fellow airplane passengers recently. The TOXIC singer was flying from Los Angeles to New York with her husband KEVIN FEDERLINE and decided to make herself more comfortable by removing her shoes. Unfortunately for her fellow passengers, Britney's feet caused such a stink it wasn't long before they were forced to complain to a stewardess. One says, "The smell was unbelievable. One woman had a word with the air hostess, then three or four others complained. "She looked pretty embarrassed as she tapped Britney on the shoulder and asked her very politely to put her shoes back on. "Britney went red, laughed and said her shoes made her feet stink. Thankfully she put them on. There's no way we could have put up with that." Nice shades, darlin':  There's a car in this picture?  Just ignore the crowd, Honey:  7 Ways to Prevent Identity Theft:  **************************** Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, the demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about." Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:32 AM A little piece of me died today. Our faithful and loyal companion of 11 years, our dog, Frankie had to be put to sleep. The Lovely D and I stayed with her right to the end. It was heart-wrenching. She had cancer and blood from a burst cancerous tumor was filling her abdomen. She was very very sick, so euthanasia was the best thing we could do for her. God love her, she was the best. I will miss our morning walks together, among other things I loved doing with her. Colin at 3:34 PM
Quote of the Day: The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him. -- Jim Samuels Today's BOTD:  Hey Boobula. Got a used RV you can't move off the lot? Maybe you should include some chicks in your ad like this guy did:   What makes stars twinkle?
The twinkling of stars, technically known as stellar scintillation, is due to the very unromantic force known as atmospheric turbulence. Moving pockets of air in the Earth's atmosphere distort the light from the stars. These pockets of air act like lenses, refracting light in random directions and causing the stars to appear to "twinkle." Stars on the horizon will appear to twinkle more than stars directly overhead. This is because the light has to pass through more of the Earth's atmosphere to reach your eye. The colors of a star are also affected by the refraction of the Earth's atmosphere. A star may appear to change colors rapidly due to atmospheric turbulence. Outside the Earth's atmosphere, the stars don't twinkle. That's why the Hubble Space Telescope is able to capture such clear and amazing photographs of the stars. So why don't planets also "twinkle"? The planets appear much larger to us, so the "twinkling" effect of refracted light is not nearly as noticeable as it is with stars, which are so far away they appear to be only pinpoints of light. The Female Orgasm: Research shows there are at least eight types of orgasm of a woman can have. 1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes.................. 2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No.................... 3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No............ 4. The Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming............. 5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God......................... 6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, More..................... 7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you... 8. The Submariner - Mmm...OHHH...Deeper........Go DEEPER !! Some men's bathroom humor:   Lrt's move on to the Laundry Room, shall we?   16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 7. Never lick a steak knife. 8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21. 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 14. Your friends love you anyway. 15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . . They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. Oh-Oh -- A Typo ...at least I think it's a typo:  Cheez, you could bounce a quarter offa that thing::  ********************* The Coincidence: A man went into a local pub and took a seat at the bar next to a female patron. He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating too". She clinked glasses with him and said, "What are you celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For months all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence," the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant. How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks." he replied. "What a coincidence," she said. *************************** This British explorer is in the dark jungle, going where no Western man has gone before. Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter, cook, and troubleshooter all in one. One day early in the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a handsome dark young man taking a morning swim. When he got to shore and stood up the explorer couldn't help but notice the size of his penis. The young man had the longest, thickest penis he had ever seen, or even imagined. He was simply awed. He asked his guide who this man was. "He is the prince of the tribe that lives on the other side of the lake, Sir," came the reply. "This is his morning ritual." "Ask him," the awed Brit said to his companion, "how did his penis get to be this size?" The guide goes to the lake and talks to the man, who seems to get very agitated by the conversation. "Well, what did he say?" asked our hero to his assistant on his return. "He said, 'Doesn't the white man's shrink in cold water?'" Later on, Crouton Colin at 2:59 AM Quote of the Day: I was very sheltered growing up. I knew nothing about sex. My mother said this: 'Sex is a dirty, disgusting thing you save for somebody you love' - Carol Henry Jennifer. Today's BOTD:  I thought that I'd start out with something practical, especially for you girls who like to make your own clothes. Here's a 'How To' on making your own bra and panties set:  And now, on the lighter side -- Baking 101 for Guys. Double D Boob Buns (Click on the photo for the recipe):  And what would go good with them buns right about now? Why some milk, is what:  This one's for fellow blogger RITILAN: The Top 10 Most Popular Words Celebrities, baby names, and vacation cities aren't the only thing that get rated. Words can be ranked, too, thanks to the power of the Internet. Each year, Merriam-Webster Inc. compiles a list of the most popular words using a fairly simple technique. Which words, excluding profanity, were the most researched on its dictionary Web sites? The No. 1 most popular word in 2004 is: blog. And it's not even in the "real" dictionary--yet. Blog, shorthand for "Web log," will be added to the 2005 version of the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition. Beginning in July, "blog" received tens of thousands of hits each month on Merriam-Webster sites. Reuters has its own take on the power of blogs, saying, "Freed from the constraints that govern traditional print and broadcast news organizations, blogs spread gossip while also serving as an outlet for people increasingly disenchanted with mainstream media." 1. blog: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks. 2. incumbent: the holder of an office or ecclesiastical benefice. 3. electoral: of or relating to an election. 4. insurgent: a person who revolts against civil authority or an established government; especially a rebel not recognized as a belligerent. 5. hurricane: a tropical cyclone with winds of 74 miles (118 kilometers) per hour or greater that occurs especially in the western Atlantic, that is usually accompanied by rain, thunder, and lightning, and that sometimes moves into temperate latitudes. 6. cicada: any of a family (Cicadidae) of homopterous insects which have a stout body, wide blunt head, and large transparent wings and the males of which produce a loud buzzing noise usually by stridulation. 7. peloton: the main body of riders in a cycling race, such as last summer's Tour de France. 8. partisan: a firm adherent to a party, faction, cause, or person; especially one exhibiting blind, prejudiced, and unreasoning allegiance. 9. sovereignty: supreme power especially over a body politic. 10. defenestration: a throwing of a person or thing out of a window. Notice something interesting about this list? These 10 words tell you about the most important news events of the year from the presidential election to the war in Iraq to Mother Nature's assault. In addition, The Associated Press reports that online visitors to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate site were asked to nominate their favorite word. The winner was...ta dum! "Defenestration." It was also the 10th most looked-up word online. And from the Wide, Wide World of Sports: How blonde girls learn to throw the shotput:  Oh-Oh, the hard landing's gonna leave a mark:  7 Reasons to take up golf:  Finally, 2 good reasons for a guy to take up pool:  
Lead Us Not Into Temptation:  Nice ears on Mickey:  Redneck Car Lock:  Oh-Oh, this can't be good:  *********************  A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital he will be working in. He walks past a room where a man is vigorously masturbating non-stop, and asks the doctor why the man was doing such a thing out in the open?
The doctor replies, "Oh he has a medical condition where the sperm builds up quickly in his body, he has to masturbate constantly or he will explode." "Oh, I see," says the intern. They walk past another room where the intern sees a man laying on a stretcher getting a blowjob from a nurse. Again, he asks the doctor "What's up with that?" The doctor says, "Same condition, better medical plan." Later on, Crouton Colin at 3:41 AM Quote of the Day: My friend is an idiot. He smokes three packs of cigarettes a day. He won't quit either. His big excuse is. 'Why should I quit smoking? Anything could kill me. I could be crossing the street one day and get hit by a bus.' Maybe if you quit smoking you could cross the street a hell of a lot faster. - George Rogell Bonus Quote of the Day: Remember the scene in West Side Story when a guy is running through Spanish Harlem yelling out, "Maria!"... and only one woman comes to the window? - Bobby Slayton The Girls of Walmart. Today's Hump Day Hunkettes:  And for youze girls, a Hump Day Hunk:  Some seasonal stuff: How many Christmas lights are way over the top?  This next one came from my good bud Sandy. What do you get when you combine a pickle with a reindeer?  Ooooh, a snowball fight:  Finally, a man's computer keyboard, a manly man's keyboard:  This falls into the How Stupid Can You Be category:  SUNSET BEACH — In Sunset Beach early this morning some joy riders paid the price for their wild ride.
The driver apparently decided to take an almost new Ford Expeditions for a spin on the sand, but ended up getting stuck right at the water line. Reportedly, the passengers of the vehicle were enjoying their beers and weren't immediately aware that the truck was in the water and being pulled into the ocean. Orange county sheriff's deputies and Orange County firefighters arrived at the scene and struggled to find a way to tow the vehicle out of the ocean waves. Luckily, the people in the SUV were able to get out of the vehicle once they realized they were floating in the water, according to reports. None of them were hurt. The SUV's occupants were cited for driving illegally on the beach. The 11th Commandment:  Sorry girls:   It's a rug, bag and laundry basket in one:
After wearing, clothes are chucked on the stylish Laundry Rug, where they will stay until wash-day comes around. At this point chords around the edge of the rug are pulled together to form a handy carry bag for transporting the lot to the washing machine. It's a bedroom must have for lazy people everywhere. Availble From: Addject Ltd 2003 16 Hertford Road, London N1 5SH, United Kingdom Tel: +44 (0)8700 133 026 Fax: +44 (0)20 7254 8814 What a waste:  ************************  The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn't believe it:
The nurse's hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform. "MISS JENNINGS! How can you account for parading around the hospital not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed!" "Oh," said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those darn interns! They NEVER put anything back when they're through using it!" Later on, Crouton Colin at 3:08 AM Quote of the Day: Barbra Streisand recently bought six fur coats at an expensive Fifth Avenue store. Normally that would upset me, but I would rather see Streisand wear fur than see Streisand naked. - Jon Stewart I'd be a right jolly old elf too, if'n I had helpers like these. Today's BOTD:  Speaking of Santa, even with all those helpers, it doesn't make his job any easier:  One more time about Santa...apparently I made his nice 'A' List:  Wanna find out where you stand? Then click on the elf:  In case you're wondering who this is, she's Kris Benson's wife. He's a pitcher for the NY Mets. She made headlines by saying that if she ever found out her husband cheated on her, she'd have sex with every member of the Mets team:  Remember that old joke about throwing the bills up in the air and paying just the ones that stayed up. Here's a visual on that same theme:  Speaking of up in the air, if you gotta fly, you might as well go first class. Check out the interior of this Royal Brunei aircraft:  Some great quotes: I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are. - Milton Berle In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer. - Albert Camus Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow. -Kahlil Gibran, "A Handful of Sand on the Shore" The tears that you spill, the sorrowful, are sweeter than the laughter of snobs and the guffaws of scoffers. - Kahlil Gibran, "A Handful of Sand on the Shore" An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather. - Washington Irving No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit. - Helen Keller A will finds a way. - Orison Swett Marden God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr She would rather light candles than curse the darkness and her glow has warmed the world. - Adlai Stevenson, Eulogy of Eleanor Roosevelt, November 7, 1962 Every exit is an entry somewhere. - Tom Stoppard The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. - Oscar Wilde, "Lady Windemere's Fan" You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. - Ziggy Oh, look what's coming down the pike from Volvo ... The Chickmobile, a car exclusively deigned by and made for women:  And check this out: Sensual Sheets: Want to try out something new and sexy? Try using this fragrant and fun alternative to create a new, fresh experience for your love life. Mix together a blend of: ~1/2 cup of corn starch ~1/8 cup of baking soda ~add a dozen drops of scented oil, fragrance or perfume. Keep mixing it up into a fine powder. Sprinkle it on your bed sheets before a special night of passion. You and your lover will love the feeling and being surrounded in a new wonderful aroma, mixed with the sexy sensation of the lightly powdered sheets. Here's a neat gift:  OAKLEY THUMP is the world's first digital music eyewear.
No more wires. Just high-performance optics forged with an integrated, state-of-the-art digital audio engine. Listen to music virtually anywhere. Change the way you see and hear the world. OAKLEY THUMP comes in seven color combinations and two types: a 128 MB version and a 256 MB version with polarized lenses. I'm sorry, but I just don't believe this girl could pee that far:  For you computer network security types:  You bring the milk, I'll bring my cookies:  And now some 'tattoos' for you girls:  Hey girls, lookin' for that ideal place to live?  I'm not the slightest bit surprised by this news:  I am a little bit of a slut: Pamela
Baywatch bombshell Pamela Anderson has revealed that she does not regret any of her past sexual encounters and has urged women to follow her example by claiming their "inner slut" According to Femalefirst, the blonde babe is glad that she had the guts to give in to the dirty side of her personality. "I think everybody's a slut and they should admit it. I was sexual from a very early age but I've kind of learned over the years to have more fun with it," the actress was quoted as saying. "At the time I didn't see anything wrong with the PLAYBOY stuff but now I can look back on a lot of things I've done in my career and my life and go, yes I am a little bit of a slut," she added. [Just a little bit of a slut????? I don't think so] ************************ An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the bewildered burglar, "She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!" ************************ Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, would you promise to answer me honestly?" "Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away." "Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?" "It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy. "What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow. "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!" "Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!" Later on, Crouton Colin at 3:13 AM Quote of the Day: My wife and I were happy for 20 years... Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield Ah, those down home grown, milk and corn fed, country farm girls. Today's BOTD:  Oh-Oh. Skeet shooting, Texas style. But this can't be good for the 'skeet':  Hey Boobie. Still lookin' for that perfect gift for someone who has everything? Well, here ya go -- brought to us by our friends from across the pond:  Hey Dave. This one's for you (Angolina and she's packin'):  I love cool sites like this: Here's a site for you single guys who need some company:   Dear Dancer:
Thank you for your interest in the University of Texas at Austin School of Stripping. Our's is a conservatory program taught by a professionally active faculty who are committed to the development of each student's earning potential. We believe that strong training in classical stripping and a variety of modern techniques is essential for today's exotic dancer. Students perform frequently their own work, faculty work, and work by visiting guest artists. Students do not major exclusively in pole-dancing, lap-dancing, or token booth dancing, rather each takes the complete program offering superlative technical and creative training. On our website you will find information about training in our school, interviews with current students, and some reviews of our performances. Additional materials are available upon request. First we start you out with Basic Stripping 101: The Basic Step:  The Basic Beaver Step:  The Basic Lap Dance:  My kinda girl -- safety first -- heavy duty, double-wide suspenders:  Speaking of safety, don't forget to buckle up, girls. As we say here in the Commonwealth, 'Click It or Ticket':   Don't forget to read the fine print:   Beware! 3 in 5 Women Yearn For This:
Fully 59 percent of women would like to change at least one feature on their lover's face! Guys, before you get too upset by that, note this: 54 percent of men want to do the same to their partner. So much for love being blind. That's the word from a survey of 1,000 adults nationwide, including 738 who were married or dating, conducted by the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery in Alexandria, Va. So how would you feel if your spouse or lover told you to get a new nose or ears or mouth? Reuters reports that men were most likely to take suggestions about plastic surgery as an insult, while women were more likely to view such comments as a gesture of love. And if a man offered to pay for the plastic surgery, women were twice as likely to go under the knife. "This survey shows that love is not blind and, in fact, has an eye for improvement," academy president and plastic surgeon Dr. Keith LaFerriere said in a statement. What one body part would you change on your lover? Hair: 24 percent of women, 17 percent of men Wrinkles: 9 percent of women, 11 percent of men Nose: 11 percent of women, 9 percent of men Mouth: 6 percent each Eyes: 5 percent each Ears: 4 percent each And don't forget to tip the pizza guy:  Just doing a little window shopping:  Hey! They do call it a Convenience Store after all, ya know:  Ooooh, the perfect secretary:   Why Men Don't Want to Talk at Night:
What IS he thinking? After a hard day, he's thinking he'd rather surf with the TV remote than talk to his lady love. And don't nag him about the shoes he dropped on the family room floor or the clothes he left on the bedroom floor. He doesn't even notice them. That's the word from social philosopher and author Michael Gurian, who claims that men are not lazy, sexist, or pigheaded. Instead, the male psyche is radically different than the female psyche due to distinct and profound biological differences in their brains. Drawing on two decades of neurobiological research, as well as anecdotes from everyday life, Gurian reveals the deepest secrets of the male mind in his new book, "What Could He Be Thinking? How a Man's Mind Really Works." While culture is important, Gurian maintains that the biological differences in the male and female brains explain just about everything that puzzles women about the opposite sex: It explains why men have such a thing about cars. It explains why he doesn't see the dust on the furniture--or realize it needs to be dusted. It explains why he won't let go of the TV remote. It explains why he thinks mowing the yard is more important than vacuuming the carpet. It explains why it's difficult for him to talk when he gets angry. It explains why he can remember all the pitchers' names and World Series scores, but not the conversation you had with him yesterday. It explains why he puts so much of his identity into his work. It explains why romance isn't as important to him as it is to you. It explains why he won't talk to you at night. This is the big difference that explains it all: The male brain secretes less of the powerful primary bonding chemical oxytocin and less of the calming chemical serotonin than the female brain. Instead, the male hormones that bathe the brain are testosterone and vasopressin, which make him seek competitive, hierarchical groups to prove his self-worth and identity. What does that mean in practical terms? While women find it relaxing at the end of a hard day to get involved in an emotional, touchy-feely conversation, the male brain just wants to zone out. And what better way to do this than use the TV remote control to mindlessly surf from channel to channel. "The science has been crucial. Wherever I go, I start by showing PET scans and people can see for themselves the differences between the male and female brain," Gurian told Reuters. "I think that alters life and marriages." He dares to suggest that men will never be able to meet all of women's expectations. "Popular culture focuses so much on trying to get people closer. Most people believe that marriages break up because men and women are not close enough. But what I am learning about the brain leads to the idea of intimate separateness, in which the brain seeks less intimacy at times." Here's the takeaway, ladies: Instead of asking, "What IS he thinking?" you should be asking, "What COULD he be thinking?" Just don't ask him that question at night. ******************** Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: 'Pierre, kiss me!' Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips. 'What are you doing, Pierre?', says the startled Marie. 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine! She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, 'Pierre, kiss me lower.' Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. 'Pierre! What are you doing?', asks the bewildered Marie. 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!' They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, 'Pierre, kiss me lower!' Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, 'PIERRE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?' Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!' Later on, Crouton Colin at 3:35 AM Not much good stuff out there today. Everything I found is a repeat of stuff I've already put up, except for these next ones. Quote of the Day: I am indeed shrinking, but that's okay because I can buy my clothes off the rack in the children's department. It's great. There I am at a wedding wearing this gorgeous gown. A five year old was wearing the same one. Bitch! -- Marla Lukofsky Today's BOTD:  The best truck rear end I've ever seen:  For you girls that need to tone up a little:  Anyways, I'll leave you with this. Y'all enjoy TGIF and your weekend:  Three Frenchmen were sitting in a bistro enjoying their coffee, when a young American approached and asked them for the definition of the term "savoir faire". The youngest of the trio said that it was tres simple - he would define it with an example. "If you arrived at home and found your wife in the passionate embrace of a stranger, and you said 'Excusez moi' and quietly departed, then you would have demonstrated savoir faire". "Mais non", said the second, older and more urbane Frenchman. "Let me give a better example. If you arrived at home and found your wife in the embrace of a stranger, and you said, 'Excusez moi, continuez', and quietly departed, then you would have exhibited savoir faire". The third, and most venerable Frenchman shook his head and gave the Gaelic equivalent of "close but no cigar", and said, "Let me give you the proper answer. If you came home and found your wife in the passionate embrace of a stranger and said, 'Excusez moi, continuez' and he did - HE has savoir faire." Later on, Crouton Colin at 5:50 AM Blogger was down for the count yesterday, so I'm doubling up. Here is what woulda been Wednesday's post as well as the one for today: Quote of the Day: It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld Bad Girls with Guns. Today's Hump Day Hunkettes.  And for youze brudettes, a Hump Day Hunk:  On a twist of what Bruce Willis said in the movie Die Hard -- 'Come out to the coast, meet the twins, have a few laughs':  Speaking of T-Shirts:  Here's an interesting site. Got a politically incorrect question? Get it answered here:  My kinda cola:  Learning to fly with Mum:  Only in Africa:  I told you to stop pushing me:  Ooooh, stubborn child:  Nice Butterfly:  Somebody's been playin' with that sign again:  For that special someone on your Christmas list that has almost everything -- now they will...a solid gold toilet:   For hotel protection when you and your S.O. go on vacation or he takes a solo business trip:  Or to protect your S.O. against cold weather shrinkage -- and they're hand knitted:  Some religous stuff (Oh yeah, I'm probably gonna go straight to Hell and burn there for all eternity):    Nature's milk:  If girls high school field hockey was like this, I'd a been a much bigger fan:  Same for Powder Puff Football:   Solve Your Biggest Sex Problems:
Bored in bed? Too stressed for sex? Or just tired of your lackluster lovemaking? Don't worry, we've got you covered with five fast-fixes to almost any carnal complaint. Open Your Mouth No, not that. We're talking communication, here. Talk about what excites you. Ask what you can do to please your partner better. Tell him or her what you'd like to try or what's not really working for you. Will it be awkward and uncomfortable? Maybe, but would you rather settle for so-so sex? Didn't think so. Start Early Foreplay doesn't have to be limited to ten-minutes of pre-passion groping. Start as early as the morning of the day you're going to do the deed. Replace your usual peck good-bye with a tongues-and-all pucker. Check in during the day with a flirty phone call or email. Let the anticipation build. Axe the Anxiety Too much stress outside the bedroom can mean too little action inside it. If sex is looking like just another thankless task on your to-do list, you need to take action to calm your frazzled nerves. Good health is a means to good sex, so make sure you're eating right, exercising and getting plenty of sleep. Reclaim Your Relationship Problems in a relationship often manifest themselves in a lack of lovemaking. If you're still fuming over your partner forgetting your birthday (again!), you need to cool off before you can heat things back up in your bedroom. Holding onto your grudge will eat away at your relationship, so open the lines of communication, try to work through your troubles, vent your frustrations, then forgive, forget, fornicate. Bust Boredom If you're part of a long-term couple, you know exactly what gets you turned-on. Unfortunately, that knowledge leads to some ho-hum sex. Keep trying new things, even if it's something as simple as testing out a new position or locale. Even the smallest changes trick your brain into thinking it's doing a whole new sexy thing. ******************** A girl went to the doctor with her knees all cut up. The doctor said, "What happened to your knees?" She replied, "It's from making love doggie-style." The doctor asked, "Don't you know any other position besides doggie style?" She said, "Yeah...but my doggie doesn't." ******************* These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years. First guy asks the second guy, "How have things been going?" The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy, "I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d." The first guy says in amazement, "Hey; you don't stutter any more." The answer comes, " Y..e..s, I w..e..n.'.t t..o a d..o..c..t..o..r a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t i..f I s..p..e..a..k s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r." The first friend congratulates him and than asks again about how he was almost married. "W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I w..e..r..e s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n h..e..r p..o..r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e d..o..g w..a..s s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k a..n..d I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n w..e a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..o u l d d..o t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e a..n..d s..h..e t..h..r..e..w t..h..e r..i..n..g i..n m..y f..a..c..e.." "Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?" asks the first friend. " W..e..l..l, I s..p..e..a..k s..o s..l..o..w..l..y, t..h..a..t b..y t..h..e t..i..m..e s..h..e l..o..o..k..e..d a..t t..h..e d..o..g, h..e w..a..s l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..l..l..s" Later on, Crouton Colin at 3:09 AM
|
    The
Commonwealth of Massachusetts is one of four of the United States to officially designate themselves Commonwealths (Kentucky, Pennsylvania and Virginia are the other three).
Colloquially, Massachusetts is often referred to simply as "the Commonwealth," although "state" is used interchangeably. While this designation is part of
the state's official name, it has no practical implications. Massachusetts and the other 3 Commonwealths have the same position and powers within the
United States as other states.Although there were many Native American tribes and subtribes living in the area, such as the Narragansett, Abenaki, Pokanoket and Wampanoag among others, the newly arrived Puritans decided on naming the colony the Massachusetts Bay Colony, after the Massachusett Native American people who inhabited the bay area. The name Massachusett has been translated as "near the great hill," "by the blue hills" "at the little big hill," or "at the range of hills."   The Flag of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts displays, on both sides, the state coat of arms centered on a white field. The shield depicts an Algonquin Native American with a bow held in his right hand and an arrow held in his left hand. The arrow is pointed downward, signifying peace. A white star with five points appears next to the figure's head, signifying Massachusetts' admission as the 6th U.S. State. A blue ribbon surrounds the shield, bearing the Commonwealth's motto in latin: Ense Petit Placidam, Sub Libertate Quietem ("By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty"). Above the shield is the state military crest: a bent arm holding a broadsword aloft. The sword has its blade up, to remind that it was through the American Revolution that liberty was won. The flag was officially adopted in 1908, but had been used unofficially since the American Revolution.          How To Swim With
Sharks:   History of the Boston Red
Sox:     Who's Here                   /not-a-brothel.jpg)                              Summertime:       Learn more about Peak Oil at
EnergyAndCapital.com.
                           Extreme
Kung-Fu:     Don't Mess With
Grandma:  Airbags save lives:   The
Potatoheads:  Do Penguins Fly?              /ground-zero.jpg)     Back in the Day:   Orgasms Around
the World:/orgasm-switch.jpg)    The Female Brain at
Work:  Famous and
Notorious Women:   German
Third Reich Women:    Super
Heroines:  And More:  When The Workin' Day Is Done, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun:  /early.jpg)            /no-evil.jpg)  A Girl's Best Friend:     More Girls Best
Friends:         /turned-on.jpg)                      /men-multitask.jpg)     Gravity - The Bane of All Girls:                                 No Wonder
Granny's Dancing:                    School Daze:   The Male Brain at
Work:                 /hardy-boys.jpg)                The
Perfect Woman Trophy Goes To:     Beer in the Frig:   Heh-Heh-Heh:    Pay Attention,
Boys:   /at-the-office.jpg)                                                  Life's a
Beach:              Just a Day at the
Beach:    /new-bar-stool.jpg)            The Right Way To
Make Wine:  Nice Wine
Rack:  Your Package is
Here:    /pancakes1.jpg)                              Why Men Love
Women and Sports:   /morning-workout.jpg)               Oooh, Archery:   Shush!
We're hunting birdies:                                 Going
Down:            The Kama Sutra:   A Man's
Remote, A Manly Man's Remote:      /Yo-Yo-Bandalore-1.jpg) My kinda Yo-Yo's:    Deserted
Islands        A Quick History of the South:            How to Make a Redneck Girl's Top:   Redneck Waitress:  /georgia-girl.jpg)  Redneck Thanksgiving:  Redneck
Dictionary:      A Redneck
Poem:SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE, SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE. SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO. PAPPY TOLD HER, "SUSIE GAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER. I'D JUST AS SOON YA MA DON'T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YA HALF BROTHER." SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, "THERE'S TROUBLE STILL. YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YA MOTHER. BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO' I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER." BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, "MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YA HAPPY. MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE; YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY."       
 From Arabia Thinking Outside The
Box:  Life in a
Harem:  Arabian
Slaves  Arabian
Dancer:  Early
Photography
 Great Art         A Short History of
the United States:    The
American Revolution:       Women of the
American Revolution:    Naughty
Colonials:   Major Battles  The American Colonial
Navy  The French Fleet Arrives
Just In Time:  The
American Civil War:        The
Confederate Plot to  New York City:  The Great
Locomotive Chase:  George Armstrong Custer came close to expulsion from the United States Military Academy due to excessive demerits, many from pulling pranks on fellow cadets. He graduated last in his class of 1861. Ordinarily, such a showing would be a ticket to an obscure posting and mundane career, but he had the fortune to graduate just as the war caused the army to experience a sudden need for new officers. Early in the Gettysburg Campaign, Custer's association with cavalry commander Major General Alfred Pleasonton earned him promotion from First Lieutenant to Brigadier General of United States Volunteers at the age of 23 (one of the youngest generals ever). He was also the first Union officer to scout enemy positions from a hot air balloon. Thomas Ward Custer, a younger brother of George Armstrong Custer, was also a United States Army officer during the American Civil War and was a two-time recipient of the Medal of Honor for bravery. He perished with his brother George at Little Bighorn in the Montana Territory.  This definition of Sherman's would later be called Total War by historians. The purpose was twofold. First, it was designed to cripple the South's ability to wage war. Second, it was an attempt to force southern soldiers to make a choice - either fight or desert the army to defend their homes and farms (which seemed to have the desired effect. By 1865, there were approximately 100,000 southern deserters). Virginia's Shenandoah Valley was vital real estate in the Civil War. Economically it was one of the nation's top wheat-growing regions (the Midwestern prairie was not yet broken to the plow) as well as a variety of other food crops. Phillip Sheridan's Shenandoah Valley Campaign called ("The Burning")was a huge success. The Union Army of the Shenandoah left the Southern farmland a desolate landscape of destruction. As testimony to this effort, Sheridan left a written record bearing witness to the scope of his accomplishment. The buildings and materials destroyed or seized included: 1,200 barns, 71 flour mills, 8 sawmills, 7 furnaces, 4 tanneries, 3 saltpeter works, a woolen mill with 1,165 lbs. of cotton yarn, a powder mill, a railroad depot, and 974 miles of rail. The livestock taken included: 15,000 swine, 12,000 sheep, 10,918 cattle, 3,772 horses, 545 mules, and 250 calves, with 435,802 bushels of wheat, 77,176 bushels of corn, 20,397 tons of hay, 500 tons of fodder, 450 tons of straw, 12,000 lbs. of bacon, 10,000 lbs. of tobacco, and 874 barrels of flour.  Sheridan's victory was pivotal. This staggering amount of destruction and confiscation at the hands of his army assured, without a doubt, that the Shenandoah Valley would be useless to the Confederate army and to the South for some time. Without the Shenandoah Valley, Lee's critical supplies were cut off. Without supplies, the end of the Confederacy was indeed in sight. No other campaign in the entire war has contributed more to keeping alive sectional feeling than William T. Sherman's march through Georgia and South Carolina. Sherman and his army of 60,000 Union soldiers began the march through Georgia on November 15th 1864 without benefit of a supply train or any communication with the outside world with his final objective being the coastal city of Savannah. His advantage was that he had been given detailed information on where in Georgia he could best resupply his army and since the march began just after the Georgia crops had been harvested, Sherman's foragers found the Georgia barns bursting with grain, fodder, and peas, the outhouses full of cotton, the yards crowded with hogs, chickens, and turkeys. The soldiers in the Southern armies were starving, not because there was no food, but because the railroads had been destroyed and it was impossible to send supplies to the front. Sherman (who was affectionately called "Uncle Billy" by his soldiers) was not content simply to use what food and supplies he needed, but boasted that he would "smash things to the sea" and make Georgia howl. His men entered dwellings, taking everything of value that could be moved, such as silver plate and jewelry; and killed and left dead in the pens thousands of hogs, sheep and poultry. Many dwellings were burned without any justification. Sherman in his own Memoirs testifies to the conduct of his men, estimating that he had destroyed $80,000,000 worth of property of which he could make no use. This he describes as "simple waste and destruction." One of the most serious aspects of his work was the destruction of the railroads; the Central from Macon to Savannah, for instance, was almost totally ruined.   On the day following Sherman's entry into Savannah he sent this telegram to President Lincoln: "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the City of Savannah, with one hundred and fifty guns and plenty of ammunition, also about twenty-five thousand bales of cotton." The South also used harsh methods. On his march, it was discovered that confederates had planted torpedoes (land mines) in the roads. Sherman found these hidden torpedoes to be contrary to the rules of war. Sherman ordered that Confederate prisoners of war walk the roads ahead of Union troops to locate and dig up these mines. Confederates also murdered Union prisoners of war which prompted Sherman to issue a similar retaliatory order (but Union soldiers considered his order so repugnant, it was seldom carried out).  The Dark Side of the Civil
War Camp Douglas, Chicago, Illinois:  Reconstruction is the era in the U.S. history from 1863 to 1877, when the U.S. focused on abolishing slavery, destroying all traces of the Confederacy, establishing the rights of Freedmen (the name used for freed slaves), and through three new constitutional amendments - the Thirteenth Amendment banning slavery; the Fourteenth Amendment banning race-based voting qualifications; and the Fifteenth Amendment which prohibits denying a citizen the right to vote (strengthening the role of the federal governments and its courts). Reconstruction policies were debated in the North as soon as the war started, and began in earnest after the Emancipation Proclamation, issued on January 1, 1863, and the federal occupation of major parts of southern states allowed the formation of new, loyal state governments. President Abraham Lincoln was the major policymaker until his death in April, 1865. Reconstruction began in each state as soon as federal troops controlled most of the state. It ended at different times in different states. The Compromise of 1877 saw the collapse of the last three Republican state governments in the South, so 1877 is the usual date given for the end of Reconstruction, although some historians extend the era to the 1890s. The bitterness and repercussions from the heated conflicts of the era lasted well into the 20th century. "Reconstruction" is also the term used in textbooks for the history of the entire U.S. 1865-1877. July 24th 1866 -Tennessee was the 1st June 22nd 1868 - Arkansas was the 2nd June 25th 1868 - Florida was the 3rd June 25th 1868 - Alabama was the 4th June 25th 1868 - Louisiana was the 5th June 25th 1868 - North Carolina was 6th June 25th 1868 - South Carolina was 7th (June 25th 1868 - GEORGIA FIRST readmittance) December 22nd 1869 - Second reconstruction for Georgia began(Kicked OUT !) January 27th 1870 - Virginia was the 8th February 23rd 1870 - Mississippi was the 9th March 30th 1870 - Texas was the 10th Mar. 30, 1870 - The 15th Amendment is added to the Constitution. July 15th 1870 - GEORGIA READMITTED AGAIN - Georgia was the 11th and last Confederate state to be readmitted back into the Union.   Religious
Stuff                                    Get Thee to a
Nunnery:                               The Real Temptation in the Garden of Eden:                                         The Spread of the Bubonic Plague:  Atlantis:  Hero of Alexandria: Visitors Since 1 April 2004:  
 |
