Answer: *The doll is on the right
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     Quote of the Day: There's a special place in Hell for people like me. Which is good, 'cause I'd hate to have to wait in line.  Native American Girl (Little Running Bare?)Today's BOTD:     Yowza. Some high winds, I guarantee: Some History Stuff:Even if you're unlike me and didn't grow up in or know much about the 60's you can just sit back, enjoy the show and listen to the music:  Alternative History:   A Coupla Military Items: Tank Prototype:  Giving new meanining to the term Gunboat Diplomacy:  Roger Clemens' dog "Rocket"  Couch Potato Skiing:   I take it there'll be no sex with you tonight:  Heard but not seen:  Duh! Who Cares?  Nothing to Report, Sir:  Can you tell which one is the real living doll and just a doll? For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below)  Unwanted Surprise:    Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: In 1897 Czechoslovakia introduced an automobile called the Nesselsdorfer Waggonbau Frabrikgesellschaft. But you don’t hear much about it anymore. To remove pine pitch from your hands, rub your hands with a teaspoon of mayo or peanut butter. It removes the pitch almost instantly. If you have a toothache, just put about 5 or 6 drops of Tabasco sauce on your aching tooth with a cotton swab. It numbs your tooth better than Orajel. Today is: Leap Year Day, a day added to the calendar every four years to bring it line with the earth’s orbit. The planet’s actual orbit takes 365.2422 days. Bachelor's Day, a day of supposed immunity for unmarried men during Leap Year. The rest of the year bachelors traditionally are "fair game" for dates and marriage proposals. The Festival of Owls begins today in Houston, Minnesota. Families immerse themselves in owls with three days of owl face painting, owl origami, owl storytelling, hooting contests, and owl prowls (houstonmn.com/owlfest.htm)  C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 46 B.C.: The Romans created the first Leap Year by adding a day to their calendar. 1288: A law in Scotland made it illegal for a man to refuse to marry a woman who proposed on Leap Year Day, the only day women could propose marriage. 1504: Christopher Columbus, stranded in Jamaica during his fourth voyage to the West, used a correctly predicted lunar eclipse to frighten hostile natives into providing food for his crew. 1704: Deerfield, Massachusetts, was raided by French Canadians and Indians who were trying to retrieve their church bell that had been shipped from France. The bell was to hang in the Canadian Indian's village church. Neither the raiders nor the residents of Deerfield were aware that the bell had been stolen from the ship. The Deerfield folks had purchased the bell from a privateer, unaware that it belonged to the Indian congregation 1906: Ladies Home Journal reported that "women of good birth and breeding long ago discarded the use of perfumes." 1940:, "Gone with the Wind" won eight Academy Awards, including best picture of 1939. Victor Fleming was named best director, Vivien Leigh best actress, and Hattie McDaniel best supporting actress, the first black performer to receive an Oscar. Best actor went to Robert Donat for "Goodbye, Mr. Chips." 1964: Frank Rugani set a world record by driving a badminton shuttlecock 79 feet 8½ inches. 1968: At the Grammy Awards, the Fifth Dimension's "Up, Up and Away" won record of the year for 1967. The Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" was album of the year. 1980: Playing for Hartford, hockey legend Gordie Howe scored his 800th goal at age 51. 1992: The Professional Spring Football League was established. 1992: The Grand Ole Opry signed its 71st member: singer Travis Tritt. 2000: Barbara Stoner celebrated her 28th, or seventh birthday, in a delivery room at Lakeside Renaissance Women's Hospital in Oklahoma City. She hadn't planned to have a leaper baby. Her due date was set for March 7, but John Maxwell Morgan Stoner decided to arrive early so he and mom could share the same birthday -- every four years. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) Dennis Farina 64 actor Antonio Sabato Jr. 36 hockey's Simon Gagne 28  Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: Whose idea was Leap Year anyway? Was it: (a) Sosigenes (b) Julius Ceasar (c) Augustus Ceasar For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *The plan came from Egyptian astronomer Sosigenes. Julius Caesar adopted the plan.* Question 2: The first live football mascot was: (a) a bear (b) a billygoat (c) a horse For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *A billygoat named Bill, mascot of the U.S. Naval Academy in 1890* Question 3: How many American babies are named after close relatives: (a) 60% (b) 70% (c) 80% For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *About 60%* Question 4: In 1658, Virginia passed a law outlawing: (a) bootleggers (b) preachers (c) lawyers For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *Lawyers* Question 5: What purpose is served by the clapstick snapped shut in front of the camera at the start of every film scene: (a) it gives the producer’s son a job (b) it records the scene number (c) it allows synchronizing the sound For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *The clapstick lets editors synchronize the sound with the action* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman  Some things you might find interesting:  Night Moves:   ;  Phun Physics Phacts:  ;  Who's Who in the deck:    Final Joke of the Day:Pam: So my husband promised he'd try to quit smoking.  He said he'd have a cigarette only after sex.   Susie: Did it work?  Pam: Not really,  but our sex life suddenly picked up!   Have a  GRR-ATE weekend Later on, Crouton     Colin at 4:41 AM Quote of the Day: More men mow the lawn than vacuum because they think it’s cool to cut stuff down but don’t see the point of picking stuff up  Camel Toes.Today's BOTD: Very cool time lapse of a thundercloud:   A Political Item: John McClane ... not John McCain  Money changes everything (Well, sort of):  Speaking of money, in 1899, the United States issued a large-size $5 Silver Certificate featuring Chief Running Antelope, the head chief of the Hunkpapa in 1851. Known for his bravery in war, and skills in oratory and diplomacy, Running Antelope was one of four Hunkpapa principal chiefs who acted as close advisors to Sitting Bull during the Plains Indian Wars. His belief that compromise with the whites was in their best interests led to his eventually distancing himself from Sitting Bull.The engraving depicts Running Antelope in a magnificent Pawnee head dress as the original Sioux head dress was too tall for the engraving. It is the only banknote featuring a Native American as the central design and the last $5 bill before Abraham Lincoln’s familiar portrait was introduced. It was a short-lived banknote that is on sale by the Morgan Mint for $1,600.   Old (and sometimes scary) signs:   Bring home a ... er, bucket:  Oh, my kinda party outfit:    Toons:    Religious Stuff: It's a wonderful world:  New Testiment Action Figures:  Nun's habits that never quite caught on with the Catholic church:  Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: At the Alamo, Davy Crockett on fiddle and John McGregor on bagpipes tried to drown out the Mexican troops' song of death. Scientists James Watson and Francis Crick discovered the structure of DNA, the molecule that contains the human genes. The average American child will see 14,000 sexual references on television this year (Newsweek). The concluding episode of the long-running television series "M*A*S*H" drew what was then the largest TV audience in U.S. history. The world's largest litter bin was placed in London's Covent Gardens. The sponsor was Kentucky Fried Chicken. The animal welfare group Compassion in World Farming released results of a studies showing cows bear grudges, nurture friendships and become excited by intellectual challenges. The research found cows were capable of strong emotions like pain, fear and even anxiety about the future. But if farmers provide the right conditions, cows could also feel great happiness. The studies found similar traits in pigs, goats and chickens. The first U.S. parade with floats wound through downtown Mobile, Alabama. Describing a local nightspot, The Daily Ardmorite in Oklahoma used the term "honk-a-tonk," believed to be the first use of an early form of the term "honky-tonk." The first nylon product ever, a toothbrush, went on sale in New Jersey. The first anti-polio inoculation of school children began in Pittsburgh. The serum developer, Dr. Jonas Salk, inoculated the first group in 1954. In 2002 the first McDonald's drive-through for snowmobiles opened Pitea, Sweden, about 80 miles south of the Arctic Circle. There were 6,000 snowmobiles registered in Pitea. Snowmobiles in Sweden must follow specially marked tracks and their owners can be fined if they drive off the track. In 2005 official efforts to identify victims from the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in New York ended, leaving more than 1,000 bodies unidentified. It is a federal crime federal employees to bet on which elevator door will open next in any federal office building. The Reverend Hoyte Bowne has six times set the record for officiating at the most individual wedding ceremonies in a twenty-four hour period. The average teenage Instant Messenger user has 192 contacts in his or her buddy list. The average 45 year-old has 26 contacts in his or her buddy list. A conference room will, on average, have approximately two percent less oxygen in it after a one hour meeting than it had a the inception of the meeting. In 1836, General Santa Anna's Mexican army attacked the Alamo in San Antonio, Texas. Snakebite kills more than 125,000 people every year worldwide, and if you’ve just been bitten then any cure probably seems better than none. Sadly, few work. The approved treatment is to prevent the venom spreading through the lymphatic system by wrapping the entire affected limb in a compression bandage. In most cases you’ll have at least three hours to seek medical assistance, where a clear description of the serpent will help find the appropriate antivenin. Today is:Read Five Pages in the Dictionary Day. Inconvenience Yourself Day, a day to look for ways to make others' lives easier and better (inconvenienceyourself.com). Insipid Day, according to Jonathan Swift. International Polar Bear Day. Independence Day in the Dominican Republic. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1879: The artificial sweetener Saccharin was discovered at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. 1891: Robert Dyrenforth was hired by the U.S. Department of Agriculture as a special agent pluviculturist. That's a rainmaker. He used noise: loud ammunition explosions to blast the skies. Reportedly, he made it rain once in Texas but, apparently, that's the only time it worked. 1955: Billboard magazine reported that for the first time 45 rpm records were outselling the larger, heavier 78 rpm platters. 1963: Mickey Mantle agreed to play another year for the New York Yankees for $100,000, making him the highest-paid player in baseball history. In 1949 he played for $1,100. 1964: The city of Pisa asked the Italian government to straighten its 184-foot Leaning Tower. At last report, the Tower was still leaning. 1987: A team of 90 elementary school students in Kumamoto, Japan, skipped a rope together 160 times without missing, for a Guinness world record. 1992: Elizabeth Taylor celebrated her 60th birthday by leasing Disneyland for an elaborate private party. 1995: The movie "Forrest Gump" won six Academy Awards, including Best Picture and a Best Actor Oscar for Tom Hanks. 1996: Kurt Wait became the first man ever to win the Pillsbury Bake-Off with his Macadamia Fudge Torte. First prize awarded in Dallas: $1-million! One slice: 460 calories. 1996: Britain passed the Wild Mammals Act to give wild animals like hedgehogs, foxes and squirrels the same legal protection from cruelty as domestic animals. 1997: Legislation banning most handguns became effective in Britain. 1997: Divorce became legal in Ireland. 1997: Singer James Brown asked talk show hostess Rolanda White to marry him during the taping of one of her shows. She declined. 1997: God received an American Family Publisher's Sweepstakes entry mailed to Florida's Bushnell Assembly of God Church which began, "God, you may already be a winner." 2003: Armed robbers escaped with $396,000 worth of candy and chewing gum in a raid on a Milan, Italy, warehouse. The gang of six wore masks and carried handguns during the raid. Police said the gang drove away in three trucks loaded with sweets. 2003: Fred Rogers, the host of TV's ''Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood'' died at age 74. 2005: The United Nations took a first step aimed at curtailing worldwide smoking by announcing its tough tobacco control treaty was in effect. 2007: A Fayetteville, North Carolina, man charged with robbing a Wachovia branch bank for the second time since 2005, tried to show police the loot in his motel room, but discovered he had been robbed. Police later charged a motel maintenance man with breaking into the room and taking the cash. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) actress Elizabeth Taylor is 76 actress Joanne Woodward 78 actress Barbara Babcock 71 actor Howard Hesseman 68 actor Gregg Rainwater 42 singer Chilli (TLC) 37 singer Josh Groban 27 singer Bobby Wilson (Mista) 28 consumer advocate Ralph Nader 74 basketball's James Worthy 47 daughter Chelsea Clinton is 28  Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: Did actress Bernadette Peters debut on Broadway at age 11 in: (a) "Guys and Dolls" (b) "The Sound of Music" (c) "Most Happy Fella" For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *"Most Happy Fella"* Question 2 You are suffering from opsialgia, so obviously: (a) your face hurts (b) your nose runs (c) your eyes twitch For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *It’s a neuralgic pain of the face (Taber’s Medical Dictionary)* Question 3: It takes 20 seconds for food to reach your stomach. How long does it take your brain to realize it’s there: (a) 2 minutes (b) 10 minutes (c) 20 minutes For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *20 minutes. In other words, since you can be full 20 minutes before you realize it, it’s wise to eat slowly (New Woman magazine).* Question 4: According to Hippocrates, you can stop your hiccups by making yourself: (a) sneeze (b) throw up (c) burp For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *Sneezing stops hiccups, or supposedly it did in 400 B.C.* Question 5: If you just dropped your squidger, are you most likely: (a) bullfighting (b) planting wild flowers (c) playing tiddlywinks For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *Playing tiddlywinks. The squidger is the large disc used to snap or squidge the smaller discs into the cup.* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Some things you might find interesting:  ;  ;  Final Jokes of the Day:First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.  Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing."  After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and created a girl.  Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.  Two lovely hips to increase his desire, And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.  Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud, commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.  Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you, and two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.  Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, and two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder. 'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.  Then he added a mouth and ruined the whole blasted thing!  ;  ; An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "Seniors" in Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.  Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife "notice anything different about me?"  Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Frustrated Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots.  Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT now?"  Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, It'll be hanging down again tomorrow."  Furious, Ray yells, "DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"  To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat."  Later on, Crouton Colin at 3:46 AM Quote of the Day: More men mow the lawn than vacuum because they think it’s cool to cut stuff down but don’t see the point of picking stuff up  A Perfect Brunette.Today's BOTD:  Now THIS is a calendar:  Between the (Library) Stacks:    My Kinda Money - an 1896 $5 silver certificate:  Some Lesser Known Texas Sites (you'll notice that Dallas, Austin, San Antonio or Corpus Christi aren't featured on this map):  A picture from the Texas Beyond History site:  Clever Hotel Rules Notice.  Toons:     Bill and Hillary Stuff:    Muslim Stuff:Muslim Art:  Them Wacky, Wacky Arab fun lovers:     Just another day at the pistol range, eh?     Hot Pakistani Dancer:  Religious Stuff: Oh Yeah:      Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: The caterpillar has more than 2,000 muscles. (Wonder who counted them?) John Travolta turned down starring roles in the films "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie." Today is: National Chocolate Covered Peanuts Day. Let's All Eat Right Day, celebrating the birthday of nutritionist Adelle Davis who advocated healthy eating, especially via her best-selling book, "Let's Eat Right to Keep Fit." National Don't Utter a Word Day. You see, the world is made up of talkers and listeners. And the listeners need a rest. National Cuddle Day. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1793: George Washington convened the first U.S. Cabinet meeting -- at his home. 1836: Inventor Samuel Colt patented the revolver. 1919: Oregon became the first U.S. state to tax gasoline. 1950: "Your Show of Shows," starring Sid Caesar and Imogene Coka, debuted on NBC-TV. The shows writers included Carl Reiner, Neil Simon, Woody Allen, and Mel Brooks. 1956: Elvis Presley scored his first #1 country song with "I Forgot To Remember To Forget." Less than a month later "Heartbreak Hotel" would also hit #1. 1957: Buddy Holly and the Crickets recorded "That’ll Be the Day" in Clovis, New Mexico. 1965: The Beatles began filming their second movie "Eight Arms To Hold You." The title later was changed to Help! 1978: The top three songs on the U.S. charts ("Stayin Alive," "How Deep Is Your Love," and "Night Fever") were all by the Bee Gees. The #4 song, Andy Gibb's "Love Is Thicker Than Water," and the #5 song, Samantha Sang's "Emotion," were written by the Bee Gees. 1984: Luc Labrie finally went indoors after 138 hours of continuous skiing at Daie Comeau, Quebec. That's 5 days 18 hours and a Guinness world record. 1989: With his Fairview High School team trailing Iroquois 50-49 in Erie, Pennsylvania, 17-year-old Chris Eddy launched a desperation shot at the buzzer 90 feet 2 inches from the basket. Fairview won 51-50 with history's longest basketball goal. 1992: Singer Natalie Cole won seven awards at the 34th annual Grammys, including best album for "Unforgettable." 1996: The first Christian Nudist Conference closed at a campground near Longwood, North Carolina. Some 40 "conservative nudists" attended the conference. Retired Penticostal minister David Phipps, who walked the grounds with a pet pig on a leash, said, "God didn’t create us with clothes. There are a lot of people walking around in $400 suits that I wouldn’t trust my pig with." 1998: At its annual insect exhibition, the Johannesburg Zoo in South Africa served up examples of some 5,000 different species. Favorites at the outdoor barbecue included chocolate-covered fried termites and mopani worm hamburgers. 2003: Chief U.N. weapons inspector Hans Blix said Iraq was showing new signs of real cooperation, but President Bush dismissed the idea and predicted Saddam Hussein would try to "fool the world one more time." 2004: The Mel Gibson film ''The Passion of the Christ'' opened in 3,000 U.S. theaters on Ash Wednesday. 2006: Veteran Emmy-winning comic star Don Knotts, best known for his Barney Fife on "The Andy Griffith Show," died of lung cancer. He was 81. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) actress Tea Leoni 42 actor Sean Astin 37 twin actors James and Oliver Phelps ("Harry Potter" films) are 22 each comedian Carrot Top 41 musician Tommy Newsom 79 singer Julio Iglesias Jr. 35 singer Chris Pittman 32 journalist Bob Shieffer 71 talker Sally Jessy Raphael 65 baseball's Shannon Stewart 34 sportscaster Billy Packer 47 Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: How many Americans regularly suffer tension headaches: (a) 45 thousand (b) 450 thousand (c) 45 million For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *45 million (National Headache Foundation, Chicago).* Question 2: In Atwoodville, Connecticut, while waiting for a politician to speak, is it illegal to play: (a) Scrabble (b) Poker (c) Monopoly For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *Scrabble* Question 3: What musical instrument originally was called a sackbut: (a) bagpipes (b) trombone (c) accordion For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *Trombone* Question 4: If your elephant is average, he/she will sleep: (a) two hours a night (b) five hours a night (c) eight hours a night For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *Two to three hours a night.* Question 5: It’s your pet skunk’s birthday and you want to impress him. You should serve: (a) Mrs. Paul’s fishsticks (b) crawfish (c) shrimp For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *Crawfish. Skunks love crawfish.* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Some things you might find interesting:  Computer Stuff:  ;  Oh, She Floats, Too:  The Key to Male Happiness? ;  ;  ;  The latest lunar eclipse (view from earth). The moon's red appearance is due to dust in the atmosphere:  ;  ;  Here ya go, Girls - something for your work desk: ; Speaking of frogs:  ;  Final Jokes of the Day:Two senior ladies, Anne and Lisa, are walking through a museum and got separated.  When they ran into each other later Anne said to the Lisa, "My! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"  Lisa replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! Why the penis on it was so large!"  Where upon Anne blurted out, "...and cold, too!"  ; Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him: "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!" The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.  Ed has been missing since Friday. ; Why did God create man before woman?   He didn't want any advice.  ;  Mafia job:The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were “protecting.” Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn’t be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someo of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can’t communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, “Ask him where da money is.” The interpreter signs, “Where’s the money?” The deaf man replies, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The interpreter tells the hood, “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.” The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. “Now ask him where the money is!” The interpreter signs, “Where is the money?” The deaf man replies, “The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park.” The interpreter says to the hood, “He says he still doesn’t know what you’re talking about, and doesn’t think you have the balls to pull the trigger.” Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:59 AM Quote of the Day: Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites? That's because New Jersey got first pick.  More Charlotte Ross.Today's BOTD:   This woman found this lion hurt and about to die. She took him home and took care of him. When the lion was better she called the local zoo. This was the reaction she got when the lion saw her ...  Oh, Okay  Oh-Oh    Damn Undies:  Toons: Mrs. Daffy Duck:   Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: The title role of "Dirty Harry: in 1971 was originally intended for Frank Sinatra. After he refused, it was offered to John Wayne, and then Paul Newman, finally accepted by Clint Eastwood. In Montana, any trash receptacle with a capacity less than one gallon cannot be marketed as a "trash can", only as a "waste basket". In 2003, retail-giant Wal*Mart was fined $15,000 for willful violation of this law. • A first class letter mailed from New York, NY, to Los Angeles, CA, will be touched by, on average, only four people. • Americans consume more food on Tuesday than any other day of the week. • While many are aware that cats and dogs are natural enemies, few are aware of nature's other long standing feuds: turtles and mongooses; barn owls and honey bees; roadrunners and rattlesnakes; and swordfish and stingrays. • Worldwide, more data are downloaded to end-users through wireless Internet connections than through their wired counterparts. From delivery to sale, canned goods in American grocery stores will spend an average of 11.3 days on the shelf or in storage. • The Federation of North American Food Vendors reports that 61 percent of food consumed in a "carry-out" fashion is Chinese cuisine. • By law, every household in the country of Myanmar is required to design and fly a unique flag representing the occupants. • The International Date Authority recognizes 129 different calendaring systems in use around the world. • The average street number of all addresses in the United States is 1633.3. Today is: Call Somebody "Boo Boo" Day, just to see what they call you. National Chili Day, sponsored by the Hard Times Cafe in Locust Grove, Virginia.. World Thinking Day. National Be Humble Day. Teddy Bear Day. Independence Day in Saint Lucia. The 3-day Sourdough Rendezvous begins today in Whitehorse, Yukon Territory. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1732: The first U.S. president, George Washington, was born at his parents' plantation in the Virginia Colony. 1879: Frank Winfield Woolworth opened the nation's first 5-cent store in Utica, New York. 1934: In the film "It Happened One Night" opening at New York’s Radio City Music Hall, Clark Gable removed his shirt and revealed a bare torso. Men's undershirt sales dropped 40%. 1957: In a small club in Blytheville, Arkansas, Jerry Lee Lewis forgot the words to "Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On" and added his own as he performed. Four months later the song hit #3 in the U.S. 1965: Filming began for the Beatles’ second movie, "Help!," in the Bahamas. 1976: 31-year-old Florence Ballard, rearing three children on welfare in Detroit public housing, died of a heart attack. She had ten #1 records with the Supremes. 1989: Aldo J. Jacuzzi died at age 67. He pioneered the whirlpool bath pump. 1992: TV’s Ed MacMahon and ad executive Pam Hurn were married in Boulder City, Nevada. Ed’s 6-year-old daughter, Katherine Mary, was ring bearer and best man. 1992: Rockers Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love were married. 1996: Europe's first Weight Losing Centre for babies opened in Athens after statistics confirmed that Greek infants were the most obese in Europe. 1997: Singer-actress Jennifer Lopez married her first husband, Cuban waiter Ojani Noa. The divorced the following year. 1998: A British burglar was sentenced to a year in prison after he left earprints on the doors of the houses of his victims. Police said the burglar pressed his ear to the doors to listen before entering and left conclusive evidence at each house. 1999: A man held up a bank in Bexley, Ohio, wearing a black cap, house shoes, and blue and white checked pajamas. Police wouldn't say how much money the robber got. No one was hurt. 2004: Consumer advocate Ralph Nader entered the U.S. presidential race as an independent. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) Senator Ted Kennedy is 76 Senator William Frist 56 actress Drew Barrymore 33 actress Jeri Ryan 40 actress-singer Lea Salonga 37 golfer Vijay Singh 45 basketball's Julius Earving 58 tennis pro Michael Chang 36 manager Sparky Anderson 74 "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin would have been 46. Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: At age 11 months, did actress Drew Barrymore star in a TV commercial for: (a) Burger King (b) Gainesburgers (c) Jack in the Box For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *Gainesburgers* Question 2: During the American Revolution, George Washington was shot in: (a) the arm (b) the foot (c) the hat For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *The hat. Also through the coat, but never through the skin.* Question 3: Which state once made it illegal to give liquor to a fish: (a) Oklahoma (b) Texas (c) Mississippi For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *Oklahoma* Question 4: Model Cindy Crawford received a full university scholarship to study: (a) fashion design (b) chemical engineering (c) art history For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *Chemical engineering* Question 5: You are a Kirghiz wife whose husband’s name is Bish. You should call him: (a) Bishie (b) Fishie (c) Ralph For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *Ralph. In Kirghizstan, wives must not utter their husband’s name or anything that sounds like his name.* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Some things you might find interesting:         Final Jokes of the Day:WHAT RETIRED PEOPLE DO: Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. I have a great example. The other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a craphead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age. ; Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom.  After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation  with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself,  since she is so active for her age.  Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?"  He replied, "Probably the same thing."  ;  ; During a sudden and prolonged cold spell this past winter,  a really stacked blonde stopped in to see her former Chemistry Professor.  Professor, I wonder if you could tell me... er...well... that is... I mean the exact temperature  at which silicone freezes?"  Have a GRR-ATE weekendLater on, Crouton Colin at 4:59 AM Quote of the Day: I've had a rough day. I put my shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield  down below! Today's BOTD:  Giving new meaning to the phrase God willing and the creek don't rise:   Only in Massachusetts:  A man's breath mint, a manly man's breath mint:   How to impress them Oktoberfest beer hall waitresses with your command of the German language:     Handy Invention:  Clever Advertising?  The Number 1 Reason Why Girls Shouldn't Wear Thong Undies in the Winter:    Redneck Items:      Did you hear about the blonde that… ….Lost her boyfriend because she forgot where she laid him. ….Thought that asphalt was rectum trouble. ….Was called tapioca because she could be made in a minute. ….Thought her typewriter was pregnant because it missed a period. ….Thought that “no kidding” meant some form of birth control. ….Thought that peter pan was something for under the bed. ….Thought that “Moby Dick” was a venereal disease. ….Thought that a sanitary belt was a drink from clean shot glass. ….Smelled good only on the right side because she couldn’t find the left guard. ….Wore union pants because her best friend was having labor pains. ….Studied 5 days for a urine test. ….Thought KOTEX was a radio station in Texas. ….Thought fetus was a character from “Gunsmoke”. ….Thought a mushroom was a place to kiss. ….Was in the Indy 500 and had 7 pit stops, 1 for gas and 6 for directions. Toons:     Them Wacky, Wacky Asians:  What's for Runch?    A Religous Item:  Arab Items:Muslim Fashion Show:  Muslim Prayers:   Space Stuff:      Northern Lights:   Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: Camels can close their noses. Alligators can close their ears. When Bugs Bunny first appeared in 1935, he was called Happy Rabbit. Today is: Call An Old Friend Day, a day to phone someone you haven’t talked to in a very long time. Love Your Pet Day. Toothpick Day. The toothpick was patented on this date in 1872. Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day. At noon everyone yells "Hoodie-Hoo" to chase away winter and make way for spring (wellcat.com). Flying Car Day. The first flying car, the Arrowmobile, was tested on this date in 1937. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1940: MGM released the movie cartoon "Puss Gets the Boot," the first starring Tom and Jerry, though Tom was called Jasper. Jasper and Jerry were nominated for an Academy Award, but lost. Eventually, Tom and Jerry won seven Oscars for their creators Hanna and Barbera. 1952, 1953, 1956, 1961, and 1966: Ralph and Carolyn Cummins of Clintwood, Virginia, had a child. Four girls and one boy, all born on Feb. 20. 1962: Astronaut John Glenn became the first American to orbit the Earth, aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury capsule. 1965: Buck Owens hit #1 on the Billboard country chart with "I've Got a Tiger by the Tail." 1985: Clarence Nash died in California of leukemia at age 80. He was the voice of Donald Duck. 1987: Host David Hartman left ABC’s "Good Morning America" after 11 years. 1988: The United Youth Movement in Jorhor, Malaysia, set off an 18,777-foot display of 3,338,777 firecrackers. It exploded for 9 hours and 27 minutes, the longest firecracker display ever popped. 1992: Ross Perot said that he "wouldn’t be temperamentally fit" for the presidency, but hinted he would run if voters put him on the ballot in all 50 states. 1997: The Trinity Broadcasting network announced it had dropped singer Pat Boone’s Gospel America show after he recorded a heavy metal album and appeared on the American Music Awards in black leather and a studded dog collar. 1997: Ben and Jerry's introduced a their ice cream Phish Food, named after the rock group Phish. 1998: American Tara Lipinski became the youngest gold medal winner in winter Olympics history when she won the ladies' figure skating title at Nagano, Japan. Tara was 15. 2001: A man who led police on a 10 mile-an-hour chase on a tractor was jailed for a year. The driver was chased after being spotted driving while drinking a beer. Residents of Janesville, Wisconsin, lined the chase route and some even took photos. The driver eventually stopped in a church parking lot and told officers he didn't think he would be arrested there. He was. 2005: Actress Sandra Dee died at age 62. 2006: The Danish newspaper that published controversial cartoons of Muslim Prophet Mohammed and triggered widespread, angry and often deadly protests, ran a full-page apology in Saudi papers. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) actor Sidney Poitier is 81; actress Sandy Duncan 62; actor Andrew Shue 41; actress Majandra Delfino 27; guitarist J. Geils 62; musician Chris Thile (Nickel Creek) 27; Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell 33; singer Buffy Sainte-Marie 67; Cheap Tricker Jon Brant 53; actor Edward Albert 57; model Cindy Crawford 42; heiress Patty Hearst 54; basketball's Charles Barcley 45; basketball's Stephon Marbury 31 Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: In 1962 The Harvard Lampoon voted Jane Fonda "Worst Actress of the Year" for her role in: (a) Tall Story (b) The Chapman Report (c) Cat Ballou For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *The Chapman Report* Question 2: After making the semi-finals in the 1968 New York State Miss Universe Pageant, Susan Lucci dropped out to: (a) please a boyfriend (b) accept a television role (c) finish her college exams For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *To finish her college exams* Question 3: You suffer from scotophobia. You have an abnormal fear of: (a) the dark (b) having to wear a kilt (c) being forced at gunpoint to do something bad For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *You’re afraid of the dark* Question 4: Actor Lou Diamond Phillips was born in: (a) Mexico (b) The Philippines (c) Texas For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *The Philippines* Question 5: You have decided to go into the lucrative sheep cheese and yogurt business. You will want to import dairy sheep from: (a) Argentina (b) Germany (c) Australia For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *East Friesians are the world’s most productive dairy sheep, just as Holsteins are the most productive dairy cows. Both come from the same region of Germany.* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Some things you might find interesting: These are cool: Birthday Calculator Paste into your browser and press enter (press escape then enter to close) javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.getElementsByTagName("img"); DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+"px"; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);  Hmmmm:  Listen Up, Boys:    Rubber Duckie You're The One:   Ancient Deadly Weapons:  Final Jokes of the Day: Mom to her notorious daughter: Tell me the name of the bastard who got you pregnant. Daughter to mom: After eating a dozen donuts, can you tell which one made you fucking fat? ;  Later on, Crouton Colin at 6:39 AM  Happy President's Day Today's President's Day Trivia Quiz: For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *Abraham Lincoln. Abrahm Lincoln was the sixteenth president of the United States. During his presidency Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation that declared slaves forever free within the Confederacy.*  For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *George Washington $1 coin.*  For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *The penny.*  For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *It was resized to make it easier to handle. The five-cent coin or half-dime as it was called when it was first created contained half the metal that was in a dime, but it was so small that it was difficult for people to handle. In 1866, U.S. Mint officials decided to make it larger by changing its content from silver and copper to a combination of copper and nickel and the modern nickel was born.*  For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *The U.S. Mint has been producing coins since 1792.*  For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *After his death the Mint received numerous requests.*  For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *Grover Cleveland. Bank notes of denominations of $500 or higher are no longer produced but featured President William Mckinley on the $500 bill, President Grover Cleveland on the $1,000 bill, President James Madison on the $5,000 bill, Treasury Secretary Salmon Chase on the $10,000 bill and President Woodrow Wilson on the $100,000 bill.*  For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *Four. The George Washington coin was issued in 2007. James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren coins will all be issued in 2008.* Later on, Crouton Colin at 5:42 AM Quote of the Day: Monster truck shows are for people who don't understand wrestling - Red Green The sexy Betty Boop look. Today's BOTD:  Sexual Harassment isn't only illegal, it can also be dangerous:      Nice Top, Girl:  Toons:    Political Stuff: Hillary (and Bill) - The Younger Years:   Old People Stuff:  Scooter Wars:  Don't Blame The Seniors: Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. Upon reflection, I would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The melody out of music, The pride out of appearance, The romance out of love, The responsibility out of parenthood, The learning out of education, The service out of patriotism, The civility out of behavior, The refinement out of language, The dedication out of employment, The prudence out of spending, The ambition out of achievement, And they certainly are not the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from relationships. Muslim Item:  Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: Among web pages that show a copyright date, 3.5% have a date that is more than one year out of date. As of February of 2008, 11.4% of pages with obviously new information still show "© 2007" The Recording Academy, which is the organization that awards the Grammys, voted 69 percent to 30 percent against changing the name of The Grammys to The Ceedees. The vote was forced by members who contend very few people remember what a gramophone is and re-naming it for CDs would make it more relevant to today's music fans. Until he was elected Vice President, Dick Cheney would make his own buckshot shells for hunting. The Secret Service has a strict rule against Presidents and Vice Presidents handling ammunition except to load it into a firearm. On the set of the original Star Trek series, cast and crew members would refer to William Shatner as 'Porky" behind his back. Light bulbs that are not screwed into their socket snuggly enough use 3 percent more electricity than those that are properly screwed in. Today is: Stop and Smell Your Compost Pile Day, a time to snort away the winter blahs and think about spring. Thanks for a Great Valentine's Day. NBA All-Star weekend begins today in New Orleans. The 4-day Great Backyard bird Count begins today (birdsource.org). Burger Lovers Day. Maple Leaf Day, marking adoption of the new Canadian flag on this date in 1965. National Gumdrop Day. Susan B. Anthony Day, marking her birth in 1820 at Adams, Massachusetts, and recognizing her work for women's rights. National I Want Butterscotch Day. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1564: Astronomer Galileo Galilei was born in Pisa, Italy. 1764: In Missouri, the city of St. Louis was established. 1927: The U.S. issued a patent (#1,661,036) for the Grapefruit Squirt Shield, a shell-shaped grapefruit holder that protected others at the table from being squirted. 1946: The Philadelphia Phillies signed 33-year-old Edith Houghton to a baseball scouting contract, the first female scout in the major leagues. 1951: The movie "Bedtime for Bonzo" premiered in Indianapolis. It starred Ronald Reagan as a monkey’s father. 1958: The "Dick Clark Show" debuted on ABC-TV in prime-time. Guests on the first show were Connie Francis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnnie Ray, Pat Boone, and Chuck Willis. The show lasted three seasons. 1965: Singer Nat "King" Cole died of cancer at age 45. His first band was called The Royal Dukes. He had 50 charted singles, including "Mona Lisa," "When I Fall In Love," and "Ramblin’ Rose." 1969: Vickie Jones was arrested in Florida for impersonating Aretha Franklin during a paid concert. She was so convincing, no one asked for a refund. 1989: The Soviet Union announced that the last of its troops had left Afghanistan after more than nine years of military intervention. 1998: A two-ton elephant named Tonya escaped from a circus at the high school in Mentor, Ohio, and ambled a quarter mile with police in hot pursuit. She was captured a few minutes later at the Big Lots store. No one was injured. 1999: Governor Jesse Ventura proclaimed Rolling Stones Day in Minnesota, and congratulated 55-year-old Keith Richards for being "still alive." Ventura once worked as a Rolling Stones bodyguard. 2001: A drummer in Kagel, Germany, was practicing so loudly in his bedroom that he did not notice burglars smash a downstairs window, empty the house of valuables, and drive off in his car. 2003: Millions of protesters around the world demonstrated against a possible U.S. attack against Iraq. 2004: Race driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. won the Daytona 500 on the same track where his father was killed three years earlier. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) singer Melissa Manchester is 57 UB40's Ali Campbell 49 comic Harvey Korman 81 actress Claire Bloom 77 actress Marisa Berenson 63 actress Jane Seymour 57 actress Renee O’Connor 37 actress Sarah Wynter ("24") 35 cartoonist ("Simpsons") Matt Groening 54 St. Louis is 244 Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: Is actress Jane Seymour’s real name: (a) Julia Sonburger (b) Gina Chipstein (c) Joyce Frankenberg For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *Joyce Frankenberg* Question 2: Melissa Manchester, studied songwriting at New York University. Was her teacher: (a) Willie Nelson (b) Paul Simon (c) Neil Diamond For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *Paul Simon* Question 3: You are taking an advanced worm course and must memorize the names of all annelids. How many names will you have to remember? (a) 87 (b) 870 (c) 8,700 For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *About 8,700. (The annelid is a segmented worm. The most common are earthworms and leeches.)* Question 4: When the door lock jammed on her tour bus trapping her fiddle player inside, did singer Patty Loveless: (a) hire a new fiddle player (b) break a window out of the bus (c) pick the lock For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *Patty picked the lock with a nail file* Question 5: "The Bionic Woman" debuted on ABC-TV 30 years ago today. Lindsay Wagner was schoolteacher Jaime Sommers. Was her home town: (a) Olay, California (b) Ojai, California (c) Montgomery, Alabama For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *Jose, California* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Some things you might find interesting:  ;  ;  ; Click on Portfolio, then the A380 cockpit feature:  ;   Final Joke of the Day:The teacher asked if anyone could tell the class a story with a moral. Little Johnny volunteered the following: "Out West, in the town of Silver City,  there was a guy named Stanley, who was president of the Creative Credit Loan Company. He was proud of being able to arrange loans for almost anyone.  One day as he was locking up to go home, some tough guys accosted him and started to push him around because he was small in stature and mild mannered.   Stanley also held a Third Degree Black Belt in Karate. He counterattacked, and gave the tough guys a thrashing they wouldn't forget."  Said the teacher, "Good, Johnny, now tell us what is the moral of your story." Johnny replied, "Well, the moral is, if you're ever out in Silver City, don't mess around with the loan arranger."  Have a GRR-ATE weekend Later on, Crouton Colin at 5:07 AM   Happy Valentine's Day to my one and only valentine, The Lovely DGive him wood for Valentine's Day Today's BOTD:    Valentine's Day is celebrated in the U.K., the U.S., Canada, Mexico, France, and Australia and the U.K., but in no other countries. Still, the Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare's lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every February 14th.Chinese Valentine's Day celebrated not on February 14, but on the seventh day of the seventh month of the Chinese lunar calendar. About 1 billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. That's the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas. Teachers receive the most Valentine's Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts. Children ages 6 to 10 exchange more than 650 million Valentine's with teachers, classmates, and family members. Studies show about 65 percent of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts. About 3% of pet owners will give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets. Approximately 110 million roses, mostly red, are sold and delivered in the U.S. within a three-day time period before Valentine's Day. One single red rose framed with baby's breath, called by florists a "signature rose," is the preferred choice for many to give on Valentine's Day. During the Middle Ages, people believed birds chose their mates on St. Valentine's Day and boys and girls might do the same. Some people once believed, if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine's Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. A goldfinch would mean a millionaire. Also in the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names to see who their valentines would be. They would wear the names on their sleeves for one week. The phrase "to wear your heart on your sleeve" may have begun during that period. By the 17th century, some believed if a maiden ate a hard-boiled egg and pinned five bay leaves to her pillow before going to sleep on Valentine's eve, she would dream of her future husband.  I'll never forget that special valentine I got in high school from my girlfriend's mother:"Roses are red, daisies grow straight; If you keep seeing my daughter, you'll wind up fish bait." I wrote a Valentine poem to my boyfriend: Roses are red, Violets are blue; I bought my own flowers, And sent the bill to you. Valentine's Day is named for St. Valentine — the patron saint of florists. Last year I splurged on dinner, the theater, wine... This year I'm even thinking about taking a date. If men really wanted to get lucky, they'd stop buying lottery tickets and start remembering Valentine's Day. Most men get their wives the same thing every Valentine's Day — whatever's left at the store by the time they remember. I think I'm as romantic as the next guy. Last year I even let my wife pick what brand of beef jerky she wanted. I wear a red ribbon on Valentine's Day -- in memory of all the teeth I've lost eating valentine candy. Lawyers love Valentine's Day because it's a day for romance, which leads to marriage, which leads to divorce. On Valentine's Day I always try to do something a little extra — like hold the door open for her when she goes out to shovel the walk. Remember, ladies, call your husband at work and wish him a happy Valentine's Day. That way he won't forget to pick you up a gift on the way home. Red is the official color of Valentine's Day because it symbolizes the embarrassment on the man's face and the anger on the woman's when he forgets it. Mixed emotions is when you get a five-pound box of candy with a card that says, "Please be my Valentine, Fatso." Valentine's Day is a day for love. Florists love it, candy makers love it, greeting card companies love it.... Valentine's Day is named for Saint Valentine -- who drove the greeting cards out of Ireland. Just checking to see if I have everything I need for tonight. Let's see, flowers, candy, theater tickets -- Now all I need is a date. Valentine's Day started with the Roman festival of Faunas, the god of fertility. As part of the ritual, the Roman men would cut strips of goat skin and run strike all the women. Which may have been fun for the men, but wasn't too exciting for the women. Or the goats. I'm a romanticist. I always buy my wife flowers on Valentine's Day because I love her. And because, if I don't, she'll kill me. Last year on Valentine's Day I tried something different. I stood outside my wife's window and serenaded her. I was singing our song, "Disco Duck," -- she opened the window and threw the cat at me. Remember, guys, the color of the flowers tells your girlfriend exactly how you feel. Red means love; pink means friendship; and yellow means you're scared to death of her mother. I learned my lesson years ago. I sent my wife flowers on Valentine's Day and she put 'em in the salad. This year for Valentine's Day my wife wants me to stay away from her. With the price of Valentine candy, you'd think there was a chocolate crisis. Remember, February 14th is a day for love and kisses and romance and passion -- but you can forget all that if you forget the flowers and candy. It’s Valentine’s Day, ladies. This means you may can get him to take you to a movie without any explosions in it. Even if candlelight doesn’t set the mood on Valentine’s Day, it can at least hide some of the mess in your house. On Valentine’s Day, romance is in the air—it’s no wonder so many men are disoriented. In England, it's a tradition on Valentine's Day to give your sweetheart a gift of fruit or money. Money is better -- it stays fresh longer. For most men, ordering flowers on Valentine’s Day is easy compared to deciding what to put on the card. What a romantic evening! The strolling violinists even played our song -- "The Theme from Jaws." I got my holidays mixed up. For Valentine's Day I got my girlfriend a box of chocolates shaped like Abraham Lincoln. You may have noticed it shopping for Valentine gifts. Every year cheap sentimentality gets more expensive. Valentine's Day is named for St. Valentine, the patron saint of candy companies. I think my wife is trying to tell me something. She got me a big Valentine heart -- with a pacemaker. I got my wife one of those big $15.00 heart-shaped boxes of candy. I bought it last year, the day after Valentine's Day, for 49 cents. Valentine's Day is always special at our house. We have a nice candlelight dinner; then I'll put some soft romantic music on the stereo; then we take down the Christmas tree. I found a Valentine card that said, "Everything I have is yours." So I sent it to the IRS. Valentine's Day is weird. How else can you explain showing your love for someone with a 2-pound box of almond nougats? My wife has so many hobbies, sometimes she gets confused. Like, for Valentine's Day she baked a batch of ceramic cookies. The sexiest thing my wife did on Valentine's Day was forget to zip up her galoshes. Romance just isn't the same anymore. I asked one girl to be my Valentine; she said she'd have to discuss it with her attorney. Remember, men, February 14th is a day for love and kisses and romance and tenderness. But you can forget all that if you forget the flowers and candy. Valentine's Day is that special day when lovers express their true feelings for each other. Like last year, when I gave my wife a big beautiful heart-shaped box of candy and she gave me a sex manual. Valentine candy is just too expensive. So this year I gave my wife a 5-pound sack of sugar and a fudge recipe. And to all you lucky Valentines who got one of those big heart-shaped boxes of candy -- eat your heart out! The tradition of giving candy on Valentine's Day was started hundreds of years ago. And some of it tastes that old. Valentine candy reminds me of stretch pants. After you eat a box of it, you have to stretch to get into your pants. Well, it’s almost Valentine’s Day, time to find which babysitters won’t watch the kids any longer. Valentine’s Day is for lovers. Love means never having to say you’re sorry, which leads to marriage—which means never having the chance to say anything. Valentine's Day started with the Roman festival of Faunas, the god of fertility. As part of the ritual, the Roman men would cut strips of goat skin and run striking all the women. Which may have been fun for the men, but wasn't too exciting for the women. Or the goats. I'm a romanticist. I always buy my wife flowers on Valentine's Day because I love her. And because, if I don't, she'll kill me. Remember, February 14th is a day for love and kisses and romance and passion -- but you can forget all that if you forget the flowers and candy. Just think, if Valentine's Day was a month later, you could give her a dozen dandelions. On Valentine’s Day just remember, it’s not important who wears the pants in the family as long as the wife wears the sexy lingerie. It’s Valentine’s Day, ladies. This means you may can get him to take you to a movie without any explosions in it. Even if candlelight doesn’t set the mood on Valentine’s Day, it can at least hide some of the mess in your house. On Valentine’s Day, romance is in the air—it’s no wonder so many men are disoriented. In England, it's a tradition on Valentine's Day to give your sweetheart a gift of fruit or money. Money is better -- it stays fresh longer. For most men, ordering flowers on Valentine’s Day is easy compared to deciding what to put on the card. Roses are red, my bank roll is shot; So a heart-shape hickey, is all that she got. It was such a lovely, romantic evening, I even tipped the guy who delivered the pizza. I got my wife something from Victoria’s Secret on Valentine’s Day, but I guess she didn’t appreciate the model as much as I did. My wife wasn't herself on Valentine's Day. I could tell when she devoured the flowers and put the candy in some water.     Christian legend says Valentine's Day is the Feast of St. Valentine. The Roman Emperor Claudius II, called "Claudius the Cruel," did not want any marriages to take place during war-time. He believed married men, who wanted to stay home with their wives, made poor soldiers. But Bishop Valentine performed marriages anyway and was beheaded for his crimes on February 14, 270 A.D. Ancient cultures believed the soul lived in the heart, that it was the source of emotion, intelligence, and truth. The ancient Greeks believed the heart was the target of Eros, whom the Romans called Cupid. Anyone shot in the heart by one of Cupid's arrows would fall hopelessly in love. Thus, the heart became linked to love. Cupid was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Cupid's arrows magically inspire feelings of love. Venus' favorite flower was the red rose. Wearing a wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand dates to ancient Egypt, where it was believed the "vein of love" ran from this finger directly to the heart. The ancient Romans celebrated the Feast of Lupercalia to honor Juno, the queen of the Roman gods and goddesses on February 14. Juno was also the goddess of women and marriage. Legend says Bishop Valentine's cured his jailer's daughter of blindness. In a farewell note to her, Valentine signed the message "From Your Valentine." In 1415 by the oldest known Valentine was sent by Charles, the Duke of Orleans, to his French wife from his prison cell in the Tower of London. It is still displayed in an English museum. In 1537 England's King Henry VIII declared St. Valentine's Day, February 14th, an official holiday. 1929: The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" occurred in Chicago garage as seven rivals of Al Capone's gang were gunned down. 1991: For Valentine’s Day, President George Bush gave First Lady Barbara a small electronic thesaurus and dictionary. Most of this Valentine's Day stuff from Joe Hickman  Valentine's Day Psycho Test: A woman, while at the funeral for her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing! She fell in love with him right then and there, but never asked for his number and could not find him later. A few days later she killed her sister. What is her motive in killing her sister? For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer: *She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn’t answer the question correctly good for you. If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list unless that will tick you off, then I’ll just be extra nice to you from now on.  Some Valentine's Day things you might find interesting:    Final Valentine's Day Joke of the Day: Later on, Crouton Colin at 5:33 AM Quote of the Day: If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it  Yar, There be Pirates. Today's BOTD:   A man's remote, a manly man's remote:  I think we've found Jimmy Hoffa:     Are you hungry, little boy?   This guy wouldn't screw you ... would he?  Clever Ad  Man's band-aids, manly mens band-aids:      On the campaign trail: The box under Bill and Hillary’s bed: When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, ‘I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it’ In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box was 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents. That evening, they were out for a special Anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, ‘I am so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?’ Bill thought for a while and said, ‘I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.’ Hillary was shocked, but said, ‘Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened by your behavior. However, since you are addicted to sex I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem.’ Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, ‘So why do you have all that money in the box?’ Bill answered: ‘Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash.’ ; At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this." "The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth." ; Top Reasons Mitt Romney Dropped Out Of The Presidential Race Harsh midwest weather was murder on his split ends Polls show public doesn’t want a president who looks like a casino greeter There was that little problem of nobody voting for him Lost all of his money betting on the Patriots Muslim Stuff:    Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: To celebrate the Chinese New Year, there will be roughly 45,000 parades in China. There are 16 cities in China that have a population of more than 10 million. The oldest sections of the Great Wall of China are the same width as the Appian Way built during the Roman Empire. As of July 2007, 99.478 percent of Chinese citizens over the age of 18 are registered communists, the lowest rate in 55 years. In 2007, George W. Bush's approval rating in China was seventeen percentage points higher than it was in the United States. Today is: Meringue Memorial Day, a day to make an old-fashioned cream pie and to see if you can remember how to make meringue. International Flirting Week begins today. Just Say "No" to PowerPoint Week and Love a Mensch Week begin today. National Shut-In Visitation Day. Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day. National Hospital Day. America's first hospital, the Pennsylvania Hospital, opened in Philadelphia on February 11, 1751. Make a New Friend Day. Be Electrific Day, the birthdate in 1847 of Thomas Alva Edison, inventor of the light bulb (electrific.com). White Shirt Day, a day blue collar factory workers wear white shirts to symbolize the dignity of the working class. Satisfied Staying Single Day. Youth Day in Cameroon. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1905: James Blackstone of Seattle set a world record by bowling 299½. On the last roll, one pin broke in half and half of it remained standing. Honest. 1942: The Archie comic book debuted, featuring Riverdale High’s Archie Andrews, Jughead, Betty, Veronica, and the rich, conniving Reggie. Archie had debuted two months earlier in Pep comics. Spinoffs included a long-time radio show, two TV cartoon series, and a rock group called The Archies. 1966: Willie Mays became the highest-paid baseball player, signing a two-year contract with the San Francisco Giants for about $130,000 a year. 1977: History’s fattest lobster was caught off the Nova Scotia coast. It weighed 44 pounds 6 ounces and measured 3½ feet from claw tip to tail fan. 1989: In a Boston ceremony, the Rev. Barbara C. Harris became the first woman consecrated as a bishop in the Episcopal church. 1990: In a stunning upset, heavyweight champion Mike Tyson was knocked out in the tenth round of his fight with Buster Douglas in Tokyo. Douglas went into the fight a 35-1 underdog. 1990: Georges de Mestral died in Switzerland at age 82. He invented Velcro and the asparagus peeler. 1993: President Bill Clinton announced his choice of Miami prosecutor Janet Reno to be the nation's first female attorney general. 1994: Former Arkansas state clerical worker Paula Jones accused Bill Clinton of making improper sexual advances three years earlier in a Little Rock hotel room. The President said it never happened. 1998: The Church of England voted temptation out of the Lord’s Prayer. Meeting in London, senior clerics approved a modern version of the prayer, deleting the words "Lead us not into temptation" and substituting "Save us from the time of trial." 2001: Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh was demolished to make way for new baseball and football stadiums. 2003: A deli worker in New York caught a butcher's knife after it was thrown at her by a robber. Rosa Dela Cruz managed to grab the knife by its handles, stopping it just inches from her face. Police, who caught the robber outside the store, said it was incredible Cruz wasn't hurt. 2004: Cable TV giant Comcast Corporation launched a hostile bid to buy The Walt Disney Company for more than $54 billion. Comcast later withdrew the bid. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) actor Burt Reynolds is 72 today actor Leslie Nielsen 82 actress Tina Louise 74 actress Jennifer Aniston 39 actor Matthew Lawrence 28 singer Kelly Rowland (Destiny's Child) 27 singer Brandy 29 singer Sheryl Crow 46 singer Bobby "Boris" Pickett 68 musician Sergio Mendes 67 Jeb Bush 55 Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: Is actor Leslie Nielsen: (a) legally blind (b) legally deaf (c) legally goofy For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *Legally deaf, from a childhood illness.* Question 2: For their first appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show," the Beatles were paid: (a) $2,400 (b) $24,000 (c) $240,000 For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *$2,400. The audience was estimated at 73-million viewers.* Question 3: According to New Choices magazine, gasoline with an octane rating higher than 87 will: (a) boost your engine power (b) protect against engine knocking (c) improve mileage (d) all three For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *High octane will only protect against knocking.* Question 4: To how many advertisements are Americans exposed on the average day: (a) 70 (b) 170 (c) 270 For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *270 (Research by McKinsey & Company of New York).* Question 5: Geena Davis’ first modeling job was: (a) in a bikini at an auto show (b) as a human mannequin in a store window (c) as a nude for artists For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *Human mannequin in a store window.* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Toons:   Some things you might find interesting:  10 Words and Phrases You Won’t Believe Shakespeare Invented: Shakespeare invented more words than most people even know. Seriously, there’s at least 1,500 different words and phrases that don’t appear anywhere prior to the Bard of Avon putting them on paper. When he got stuck trying to think up a word, the man just made his own. It’s kind of like what rappers do today, except the words Shakespeare made up got embedded into our culture and have formed the cornerstone of our discourse, rather than being obnoxiously spouted by white college students trying to be ironic. And while they weren’t all winners (”unhair” still seems to be struggling) others, as you’ll see, are so common you’ve probably already quoted Shakespeare today and you didn’t even know it. Fo’ shizzle, manizzle. Here are the ten: Eyeball Puking Skim milk Obscene Hot-Blooded The game is afoot Epileptic Wormhole Alligator Household words Get the details here ; ;  A lot of people are in some doubt as to what the difference is between England, Great Britain, the British Isles and the United Kingdom. The Republic of Ireland and the United Kingdom are the only two sovereign states in this image. They are shown in red. Ireland and Great Britain are both islands and are shown in green. England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are constituent countries of the United Kingdom and are shown in orange. You have the basic idea. There are many other islands in the British Isles which are not shown here. Most of these are politically part of England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland or the Republic of Ireland, with the exceptions of the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands, which are British crown dependencies and not part of the UK (or ROI) at all. Complications: The UK's full name is "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland". Citizens of the UK are called "British". One British person is called a Briton. The ROI's full name is "The Republic of Ireland" (if you are speaking English) or "Éire" (if you are speaking Irish). Citizens of the ROI are called "Irish". Irish citizens are not British citizens. British citizens are not Irish citizens. God help you if you forget this when you encounter an Irishman. Ethnically: People from England are called English. People from Scotland are called Scottish. People from Wales are called Welsh. People from Northern Ireland are called Northern Irish. People from Ireland are called Irish. There is no such thing as English, Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish citizenship. English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish people almost always hold British citizenships. Of course, anybody, living anywhere in the British Isles, can have any ethnicity, and hold any citizenship. Many people living in Northern Ireland (which is part of the UK) are Irish citizens. Some British citizens living in Northern Ireland (which is part of the UK) classify themselves as Irish-ethnic. Some people living in Northern Ireland would even like Northern Ireland itself classified as Irish i.e. made part of the ROI instead of the UK. This is a contentious point. The ROI is not British. However, the "British Isles" include both the UK and ROI. Irish citizens and Irish-ethnic people hate this, but there is no consensus on what to call it instead. (May I humbly suggest "The British and Irish Isles"?) England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland frequently field separate teams in such sports as rugby, football (i.e. the World Cup), cricket and so on. Meanwhile, the Irish international rugby team is comprised of players chosen from both the ROI and Northern Ireland. This is largely because our various nations have been playing rugby, football and cricket for centuries, whereas the current political arrangement of the British Isles was only established in 1920. Final Joke of the Day:At a small airport terminal in Texas, three strangers awaiting their shuttle flight start conversing about the recent worldly events. The strangers were of varying cultures. One was Native American. Another was a cowboy from West Texas. The other person was a devout Arab Muslim. During their conversation, they began to discuss their cultural history. The Native American stated "Once my people were many, now we are few." The Muslim then chimed in and arrogantly said, "Once my people were few and now we are many." The cowboy looked at the Muslim, shifted the toothpick in his mouth and said with a sly grin, "That's cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet. Later on, Crouton Colin at 4:57 AM  The Lovely D's been a little down these last coupla days. Her oldest kitty passed away the other night - she was 16 years old. A beautiful white haired cat with deep blue eyes. Quote of the Day: The word Aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning 'ability to,' and bics, meaning 'withstand tremendous boredom' - Dave Barry  Secretary's Day.Today's BOTD:  The Federal Communications Commission’s five members—all college-educated adults over 40—continued exposing their obsession with sex and women’s bodies, fining ABC TV stations $1.4 million for showing 2.5 seconds of a woman’s bare butt. * The show: NYPD Blue * Air date: February 25, 2003 (yes, 5 years ago) * Scene: woman disrobing to take a shower * Episode: the difficulty a single parent has when hosting an overnight guest * Number of complaints: “not a lot,” according to the FCC * FCC charge: 1) Displaying sex organs 2) to shock or titillate 3) thus offending contemporary community standards The fine is for a scene where a boy surprises a woman as she prepares to take a shower. The scene depicted "multiple, close-up views" of the woman's "nude buttocks" according to an agency order issued late Friday. A kid accidentally walks in on a woman (Charlotte Ross) taking off her robe to shower, and they’re both embarrassed. She covers up her boobies and privates with her hands, and the kid retreats as fast as he can. It’s charming, it’s real, and it has nothing to do with sex. ABC is owned by the Walt Disney Co. The fines were issued against 52 stations either owned by or affiliated with the network. FCC's definition of indecent content requires that the broadcast "depicts or describes sexual ... activities - specifically an adult woman's buttocks." in a "patently offensive way" and is aired between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. The agency rejected the network's argument that "the buttocks are not a sexual organ." To the dirty-minded FCC commissioners, everything is sexual. The FCC’s bizarre description of the NYPD Blue scene includes phrases like “a full view of her buttocks and her upper legs” and “graphic depictions of sex organs.” Everything is sexual to the Parents Television Council as well, who obsess over every hell, damn, and suggestion that adults have bodies. In praising the FCC ruling, PTC says they “demanded action” over “the graphic display of female nudity.” Such a breathless, overheated experience of two butt-seconds is pitiful. Click on the picture below to view the "offending" butt-clip:  Now THIS is a fix for a very hard core chocolate habit:  Grandpa ain't dead yet:  Excuse me but just where the f*#k do I put this?   Lady Trucker:    School Daze:  The Darkie items are not museum pieces; they were actually marketed by the Colgate-Palmolive Company as recently as 1988.  Redneck Stuff: Redneck Steamroller:  Redneck Vacation: Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. “Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. “Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas , and Earlene got pregnant again. “Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.” Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?” Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earlene with me.”  A coupla political items:  Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: The average pig has 42 percent more hair follicles than the average person. The average leopard has 874.3 spots. Each year, an average of 192 Americans make Emergency Room visits due to being stuck by porcupine quills. When given a choice between eating snails with garlic and snails without, 92 percent of egrets choose snails with garlic. The tongue of a gila monster weighs, on average 4.2 pounds or eighteen times as much as one of its eyeballs. Today is:Boy Scouts Day. The Boy Scouts of America was founded on this date in 1910. Love May Make the World Go 'Round, But Laugher Keeps Us from Getting Dizzy Week begins today (sponsored by The Humor Project in Saratoga Springs, New York, HumorProject.com). Extraterrestrial Culture Day in New Mexico. Science Fiction Day, the birthday of Jules Verne, the father of science fiction, on this date in 1828. Laugh and Get Rich Day, a day to recognize laughter's power to help workers be more effective, remember things better, and not change jobs as often (ricksegel.com). Culture Day in Slovenia. Today marks Cowtown's Last Old West Gunfight at the White Elephant Saloon in Fort Worth, Texas. The gunfight of February 8, 1887, between saloon owner Luke Short and former Marshall "Longhaired Jim" Courtright will be reenacted. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1587: Mary, Queen of Scots, was beheaded at Fotheringhay Castle in England after she was implicated in a plot to murder her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I. 1865: American YMCA director Lewis E. Jones was born . He wrote the enduring hymn, "Power in the Blood." 1922: President Warren Harding had the first radio installed in the White House. 1960: Congress opened an investigation into widespread charges of "payola" that disc jockeys were being paid to play certain records. The accused included deejays Alan Freed and Dick Clark. Clark came through the scandal unscathed, but Freed never worked in radio again. 1968: The film "Planet of the Apes," starring Charleton Heston, Roddy McDowell, and Kim Hunter, opened through the U.S. 1986: Hosting "Saturday Night Live," Ron Reagan sang "Old Time Rock & Roll" in his shorts. 1989: A reedited version of the movie "Lawrence of Arabia" opened in New York City. Director David Lean revealed that due to an earlier editing mistake, for 20 years the camels had been moving in the wrong direction and nobody noticed. 1990: Singer Del Shannon shot himself in the head with a .22 caliber rifle at his home in Santa Clarita, California. He was 50 years old. Shannon’s first and biggest hit was "Runaway," number one in the U.S. for four weeks beginning April 24, 1961 1994: Actor Jack Nicholson attacked a car with a golf club. 1998: A rat grounded a 60-ton Swissair jetliner for two days until airline workers finally trapped it using cured ham as bait. Officials refused to say if the rat was traveling first class or coach. 2000: A man allegedly tricked Little Rock police into immediately searching for his stolen car by telling them that his daughter was asleep in the back seat. Police found the car in less than two hours. But the 30-year-old man was charged with a felony for filing a false police report. Police said he had no daughter. 2003: A romeo was stuck on the frozen roof for two hours after his romantic encounter was interrupted by his lover's husband. The naked man climbed through the bedroom window when the husband arrived unexpectedly. The window lead on to the roof and the man was too scared to jump down so he was stuck for two hours in the middle of the night until a neighbor spotted him and called police. 2004: At the Grammy Awards, OutKast won album of the year for "Speakerboxxx-The Love Below" and Beyonce took home five Grammies, tying the record for female performers held by Lauryn Hill, Alicia Keyes and Norah Jones. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) journalist Ted Koppel is 68; author John Grisham 53; actor Nick Nolte 67; actress Mary Steenburgen 55; actress Karle Warren ("Judging Amy") 16; actor Gary Coleman 40; actor Seth Green 34; musician Vince Neil 47; comedian Robert Klein 66; coach John Fox 53; NBA center Alonzo Mourning 38 Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: You are suffering a chirospasm. Should you: (a) stop firing your weapon (b) stop walking (c) stop writing For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *Stop writing. You've got writer's cramp.* Question 2: Alexander H. Stephens was: (a) vice-president of the United States (b) vice-president of the Confederate States of America (c) vice-president of the Republic of Texas For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *On February 9, 1861, the Provisional Congress of the Confederate States of America elected Jefferson Davis president and Alexander H. Stephens vice president.* Question 3: Gunshot wounds in the U.S. cost $2.3 billion a year in medical expenses. How much of that is paid by taxpayers through Medicaid, Medicare, workers’ comp, and other government programs: (a) 50% (b) 30% (c) 18% For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *Taxpayers pick up 50%. Private medical insurance pays for 18% (Journal of the American Medical Association).* Question 4: The book Bambi was originally published in: (a) French (b) German (c) Norwegian For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *In German in 1929.* Question 5: Actress Laura Dern and her mother Diane Ladd both received Oscar nominations for their roles in the film: (a) Blue Velvet (b) Wild At Heart (c) Rambling Rose For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *For "Rambling Rose," Laura received a Best Actress nomination; Diane was nominated as Best Supporting Actress.* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Some things you might find interesting:  ;  ;  ;  ;  ;  ;  ;  Final Jokes of the Day:A Conversation with Mom: Mother: "Hello?" Daughter: "Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?" Mother: "You're going out?" Daughter: "Yes." Mother: "With whom?" Daughter: "With a friend." Mother: "I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man." Daughter: "MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!" Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies." Daughter: "MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?" Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your father." Daughter: "There are lots of things that you did and I don't." Mother: "What are you hinting at?" Daughter: "Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.." Mother: "You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?" Daughter: "MA, it's My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!" Mother: "So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?" Daughter: "MOM, He's not a loser." Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite." Daughter: "MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?" Mother: "Poor children with such a mother." Daughter: "Such a what?" Mother: "With no stability. No wonder your husband left you." Daughter: "ENOUGH MA!!!" Mother: "Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!" Daughter: "Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?" Mother: "Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately." Daughter: "Goodbye, mother." Mother: "Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?" Daughter: "I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!" Mother: "If you never go out ...how do you expect to meet anyone?" ; Five rules for men to follow to a happy life: It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. It’s important to have a woman, whom you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other. Have a GRR-ATE weekendHi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to visit blogs I go. Later on, Crouton Colin at 5:03 AM Quote of the Day: According to a new survey, men say the first thing they notice about women are their eyes. Women say the first thing they notice about men is that they are all a bunch of liars. - Jay Leno >  Today's BOTD:   A man's vodka, a manly mans vodka: Now, THIS is a mailbox:   A Religious Item:  Say What? Sara Verone - Italian TV never looked so good:   Oh, let's stay home and rent a movie: Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: Allen Funt, well-known creator of Candid Camera, invented the novelty item known as the round tuit. In the last 5 years, 17 people in the United States have been murdered specifically to steal the victim's lottery ticket. Only 8 of those were winning tickets, ranging from $2 to $1.6 million. According to the Census Bureau, there are at least 37 U.S. citizens that commute daily across the International Date Line. The U.S. Postal Service is involved in nearly half of all transactions where a dollar coin is used. Approximately two-thirds of earwax is made up of soap and shampoo residue. Today is: African-American Coaches Day. Ash Wednesday, marking the beginning of Lent, a period of penitence, culminating on March 22, the day before Easter Sunday. Federal No Smoking Day. In 1987, no smoking became the rule for 6,800 federal buildings across the U.S. National Girls and Women in Sports Day. Be Happy Together Day, a day for couples to do something fun. National Frozen Yogurt Day. Waitangi Day in New Zealand, marking the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi in 1840 between the native Maori and the Europeans. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1895: George Herman ''Babe'' Ruth was born in Baltimore. 1898: The Dallas Morning News announced the death of Police Chief J.C. Arnold, accidentally shot on a hunting trip by the young new pastor of Dallas' First Baptist Church, Dr. George W. Truett. The young preacher left his pulpit briefly and considered leaving the ministry, but returned to pastor First Baptist for 48 years. 1918: Great Britain granted women 30 or older the right to vote. 1935: The board game Monopoly went on sale. 1943: Frank Sinatra debuted as a vocalist on radio's "Your Hit Parade." 1952: Britain's King George the 6th died; he was succeeded by his daughter, Elizabeth the Second. 1971: Alan Shepard hit three golf balls on the moon. 1990: The U.S. issued patented #4,898,345 to Dan Clayton of Rancho Cucamonga, California, for the Skyboard, a combination surfboard and parachute that allows the flyer to surf air currents in the sky for an extended period, then glide to a safe landing. 1990: Steve Briers recited the lyrics of Queen’s record album A Night at the Opera backwards in 9 minutes 58.44 seconds on BBC4 in London, a world record for backwards talking. 1990: Figures showed the Rolling Stones had grossed more than $100 million, a new record for any rock group, during the band's 1989 U.S. tour. 1993: To save a eucalyptus tree from being destroyed, artist William Leroy moved into the tree and declared it to be his official address: 604½ Eighth Street, Antioch, CA 94509. 1996: A $1.5-million dollar study, funded by the cable television industry, concluded that "psychologically harmful" violence pervaded the majority of U.S. TV programs. The study said that the risks of viewing such programs included: learning to behave violently, becoming insensitive to the harmful consequences of violence, and becoming more fearful of being attacked. 1998: President Clinton signed a bill changing the name of Washington National Airport to Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. 2000: U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton formally announced she was a candidate for the U.S. Senate from New York. 2002: Celine Dion's "A New Day Has Come," her first new song in two years, was released for radio play. 2003: ABC's ''20/20'' aired a British documentary on Michael Jackson in which the singer revealed he sometimes let children sleep in his bed. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) singer Natalie Cole 58 singer Fabian Forte 65 singer W. Axi Rose 46 singer Rick Astley 42 Lonestar’s Richie McDonald 46 TV's Tom Brokaw 68 actress Zsa Zsa Gabor 91 actor Mike Farrell 69 actor Michael Tucker 64 actor Brandon Hammond 24 Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: Is Natalie Cole’s university degree in: (a) voice (b) speech pathology (c) child psychology For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *Child psychology (University of Massachusetts at Amherst)* Question 2: Before breaking into films, Kirstie Alley was: (a) a biker chick (b) an interior decorator (c) a piano teacher For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *She was an interior decorator, then rode with a biker gang. After drug rehab, she got her first film role in 1982 as Mr. Spock’s Vulcan protegee in "Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan."* Question 3: You are moving into a new home. According to early American folklore, you must not carry furniture into the house before: (a) a cat has sniffed in every room (b) the salt and pepper are on the shelf (c) a tapestry with the words "Home Sweet Home" has been hung For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *The salt and pepper are on the shelf* Question 4: When he died, King Henry the 8th of Great Britain weighed: (a) 200 pounds (b) 300 pounds (c) 400 pounds For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *400 big ones* Question 5: Did comedian Brett Butler grow up so poor she sometimes had Tootsie Rolls for dinner in: (a) Americus, Georgia (b) Jackson, Mississippi (c) Montgomery, Alabama For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *Montgomery, Alabama* Trivia Quiz by Joe Hickman Some things you might find interesting:  ;  ;  ;  Final Jokes of the Day:Sunday Drive with Dad: A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old daughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their daughter out. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her father. "Well," the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with mommy?" "Oh yes, Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what? We didn't see a single dumb bastard or lousy shit head!" Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it? ; Genuine 911 Call: Woman: "I just had a baby and the doctor told me to do those Kegel exercises - you know to tighten up things down there." [giggle] Dispatcher: "Yes, ma'am, I understand. Are you in pain?"  Woman: "No, no, no. It's not that. It's just that every time I do those exercises I have an orgasm."  Dispatcher: "I'm sorry, did you say 'orgasm'?"  Woman: "Yes. Am I doing them right?"  Dispatcher: "Sounds like it to me!"  ;  Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening." Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,' 'Stop,' and 'Don't!'" Later on, Crouton Colin at 5:40 AM   Congrats to Eli Manning and the Giants on their Superbowl upset win. Lordy, I was so sick last week. It was so bad I didn't go on my computer for 3 days. I'm finally starting to come out of it. But I felt like I got run over by an 18-wheeler. Sheesh! Quote of the Day: We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon - Paula Poundstone  BoobiesToday's BOTD:     Nice Tops, Girls:      Toons:       Political Items:    Here's George: Bush protest signs in Kansas City:   President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”  Religious Stuff:Catholicism. What can you say about a religion that makes a sin out of sex, and a sacred act out of drinking alcohol?  Now that Mitt Romney is seeking the Republican nomination in the 2008 United States presidential election, here's some info about his Mormon faith:      Muslim Items:   Hey, Norm! Bar Trivia from Cliff: February is: The word "February" comes from the Latin word februare, meaning "to purify." The ancient Romans had their annual purification ceremony during this time each year. February is National Weddings Month. Most engagements take place between Christmas and Valentine's Day, and most future brides start serious planning in February for summer weddings. February birthstone: amethyst. February flower: violet or primrose. February is American Heart Month, National African-American History Month, Bake for Family Fun Month, Bird Feeding Month, Children's Dental Health Month, Grapefruit Month, Humpback Whale Awareness Month, Creative Romance Month, National Laugh Friendly Month, Library Lovers Month, Pet Dental Health Month, Senior Independence Youth Leadership Month, and in Illinois, it’s Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month. Fourteen percent of Americans had their first taste of guacamole at a Super Bowl party. The last play of Super Bowl XLI, played Feb 4, 2007, was the 5000th in Super Bowl history. In the 1990s, four Super Bowl teams provided their players with a sports drink other than GatorAde. One supplied their players with colored water. During Super Bowls I and II, Vince Lombardi kept a yarmulke, a gift from Y.A. Tittle, in his pocket as a good luck charm. It takes 62.86 man-hours and 47.2 gallons of dye to paint the various logos on the field prior to the Super Bowl. Richard Nixon fired nine speech writers for writing a State of the Union addresses that got fewer than 3 laughs and 50 "interruptions for applause" while delivering it. He also insisted on increasing the number of standing ovations each year. Since 1982 each party has issued instructions to its members regarding at which point during State of the Union Addresses to clap, to cheer, to stand and to do nothing. Bill Clinton holds the record for both longest time for delivering a single State of the Union address (one hour twenty seven minutes fourteen seconds) and the highest average time (one hour six minute seven seconds). While delivering his 1955 State of the Union address Dwight Eisenhower consumed one half gallon of milk. Bess Truman would bring her knitting when she attended Harry S Truman's State of the Union addresses. In a confidential memo written in November 2007, music industry analysts are predicting that zydeco music will be the "next big thing" in pop music and will be more financially lucrative than disco. Among all bodies of water in the world that cover more than 500 hectares, Lake Maurepas in Louisiana, has the highest percentage of non-native fish inhabiting it. In a poll of 22,000 tourists who have visited at least 15 different regions of the United States, the Cajun dialect was voted "most charming" of all regional US dialects. Savannah, Georgia's drawl was runner up. Texas Twang ranked last. One of every twelve people who live within thirty-seven miles of New Iberia, LA, is descended from or married to a descendent of Francisco Segura, who emigrated from Malaga, Spain, in 1778. Twenty-three percent of the residents of Baton Rouge, LA, do not know that "baton rouge" means "red stick" in French. Today is: National Thank A Mailperson Day. National Sickie Day in Britain, or maybe not. Businesses claim it's the most popular sick day of the year. Though not an official observance, traditionally on first Monday in February businesses are short handed as employees tell bosses they're too sick to come in. However, Union officials say claims employees fake illness are insulting. Homemade Soup Day. National Stuffed Mushroom Day. USO Day. The United Service Organization, providing worldwide civilian support for U.S. servicemen and women and their families, was created on this date in 1941. Armed Struggle Day in Angola. Independence Day in Sri Lanka. Dump Your Significant Jerk Week begins today, a prelude to Valentine's Day. C'mon Mister Peabody. Crank Up The 'Wayback' Machine: On this date in: (Click Here for More) 1861: The Apache Wars began at Apache Pass, Arizona, when army lieutenant George Bascom arrested Apache chief Cochise for allegedly raiding a ranch. Cochise escaped and declared war, which lasted 25 years. 1873: Methodist evangelist and composer George Bennard was born. Of some 300 gospel songs, his biggest hit was "The Old Rugged Cross." 1938: Walt Disney released the classic children’s movie "Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs." 1969: John Madden was named head coach of the NFL Oakland Raiders. 1974: Newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, California, by the so-called Symbionese Liberation Army. 1977: Dick Clark’s "American Bandstand" celebrated its 25th anniversary with a TV special that included "Roll Over Beethoven" played by a jamming Chuck Berry, Gregg Allman, Junior Walker, Johnny Rivers, Seals & Crofts, the Pointer Sisters, Charlie Daniels, Les McCann, Donald Byrd, Chuck Mangione, Doc Severenson, and Booker T and the MGs. 1980: The CBS soap opera "The Young & The Restless" expanded from a half-hour to a full hour each weekday. 1983: Singer Karen Carpenter died at the age of 32. 1990: Seattle police said a 68-year-old woman arrested for shoplifting cigarettes blamed the episode on Judge Wapner. She said she heard the judge tell talk show host Pat Sajak that "everybody steals, at least once in their life." 1997: A civil jury found O.J. Simpson liable for the deaths of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. He had been aquitted in criminal court. 1998: The SPCA opened a $7-million state-of-the-art animal shelter in San Francisco with color TV in every room, unlimited tennis balls, and regular peer group sessions "with lots of hugs." Officials couldn’t decide which was more luxurious, Lassie Lane or the Cat Rotunda. 1998: Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates was hit in the face with a pie in Brussels. 2002: The Guinness Book of World Records officially recognized B.D. Tyagi of Bhopal, India, for having the world's longest ear hair. The hair sprouting from the center of Tyagi's outer ear measured 4.015 inches (10.2cm). 2003: Lawmakers dissolved Yugoslavia and replaced it with a loose union of its remaining two republics, Serbia and Montenegro. 2006: Nearly 100 people were killed and more than 250 injured in a stampede at a Philippine stadium where thousands were on hand for a popular game show. Birthdays: (Click Here for More) former Vice-President Dan Quayle is 61 singer Clint Black 46 singer Alice Cooper 60 singer David Garza 37 singer Natalie Imbruglia 33 comedian David Brenner 63 actor Michael Beck 59 actress Lisa Eichhorn 57 gymnast Carly Patterson 20 Hey Norm! Today's Trivia Quiz:Question 1: Who said, "You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man." Was it: (a) Kathleen Turner (b) Demi Moore (c) Sharon Stone For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 1: *Kathleen Turner, in Body Heat.* Question 2: At the University of Texas, Farrah Fawcett was: (a) a journalism major (b) an engineering student (c) an art student For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 2: *She studied art, but decided there was more money in posing than in painting.* Question 3: In a survey of 275 corporations, how many said they discourage humor in the workplace: (a) 8% (b) 18% (c) 28% For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 3: *8%. Another 8% included "fun" as part of their mission statement. Some 63% were neutral about the topic.* Question 4: For fast, temporary relief of an itchy omphalos (AHM'-fah-luhs), would you start scratching near: (a) your top (b) your bottom (c) your middle For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 4: *Your middle. In fact, omphalos means "center." It’s your belly button.* Question 5: Actress Jennifer Jason Leigh’s father was killed in a helicopter crash. Was he: (a) an actor (b) a Marine pilot (c) a TV reporter For the answer click, hold and drag your mouse from star to star (below) Answer to Question 5: *Actor Vic Morrow died in a helicopter accident while filming Twilight Zone: The Movie.* Some things you might find interesting:  ;  ;  Final Joke of the Day:On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he’d be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he’d been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had “charged” him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with e vidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, “If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!” That’s when she shot him. Later on, Crouton Colin at 7:37 AM
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    The
Commonwealth of Massachusetts is one of four of the United States to officially designate themselves Commonwealths (Kentucky, Pennsylvania and Virginia are the other three).
Colloquially, Massachusetts is often referred to simply as "the Commonwealth," although "state" is used interchangeably. While this designation is part of
the state's official name, it has no practical implications. Massachusetts and the other 3 Commonwealths have the same position and powers within the
United States as other states.Although there were many Native American tribes and subtribes living in the area, such as the Narragansett, Abenaki, Pokanoket and Wampanoag among others, the newly arrived Puritans decided on naming the colony the Massachusetts Bay Colony, after the Massachusett Native American people who inhabited the bay area. The name Massachusett has been translated as "near the great hill," "by the blue hills" "at the little big hill," or "at the range of hills."   The Flag of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts displays, on both sides, the state coat of arms centered on a white field. The shield depicts an Algonquin Native American with a bow held in his right hand and an arrow held in his left hand. The arrow is pointed downward, signifying peace. A white star with five points appears next to the figure's head, signifying Massachusetts' admission as the 6th U.S. State. A blue ribbon surrounds the shield, bearing the Commonwealth's motto in latin: Ense Petit Placidam, Sub Libertate Quietem ("By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty"). Above the shield is the state military crest: a bent arm holding a broadsword aloft. The sword has its blade up, to remind that it was through the American Revolution that liberty was won. The flag was officially adopted in 1908, but had been used unofficially since the American Revolution.          How To Swim With
Sharks:   History of the Boston Red
Sox:     Who's Here                   /not-a-brothel.jpg)                              Summertime:       Learn more about Peak Oil at
EnergyAndCapital.com.
                           Extreme
Kung-Fu:     Don't Mess With
Grandma:  Airbags save lives:   The
Potatoheads:  Do Penguins Fly?              /ground-zero.jpg)     Back in the Day:   Orgasms Around
the World:/orgasm-switch.jpg)    The Female Brain at
Work:  Famous and
Notorious Women:   German
Third Reich Women:    Super
Heroines:  And More:  When The Workin' Day Is Done, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun:  /early.jpg)            /no-evil.jpg)  A Girl's Best Friend:     More Girls Best
Friends:         /turned-on.jpg)                      /men-multitask.jpg)     Gravity - The Bane of All Girls:                                 No Wonder
Granny's Dancing:                    School Daze:   The Male Brain at
Work:                 /hardy-boys.jpg)                The
Perfect Woman Trophy Goes To:     Beer in the Frig:   Heh-Heh-Heh:    Pay Attention,
Boys:   /at-the-office.jpg)                                                  Life's a
Beach:              Just a Day at the
Beach:    /new-bar-stool.jpg)            The Right Way To
Make Wine:  Nice Wine
Rack:  Your Package is
Here:    /pancakes1.jpg)                              Why Men Love
Women and Sports:   /morning-workout.jpg)               Oooh, Archery:   Shush!
We're hunting birdies:                                 Going
Down:            The Kama Sutra:   A Man's
Remote, A Manly Man's Remote:      /Yo-Yo-Bandalore-1.jpg) My kinda Yo-Yo's:    Deserted
Islands        A Quick History of the South:            How to Make a Redneck Girl's Top:   Redneck Waitress:  /georgia-girl.jpg)  Redneck Thanksgiving:  Redneck
Dictionary:      A Redneck
Poem:SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE, SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE. SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO. PAPPY TOLD HER, "SUSIE GAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER. I'D JUST AS SOON YA MA DON'T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YA HALF BROTHER." SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, "THERE'S TROUBLE STILL. YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YA MOTHER. BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO' I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER." BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, "MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YA HAPPY. MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE; YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY."       
 From Arabia Thinking Outside The
Box:  Life in a
Harem:  Arabian
Slaves  Arabian
Dancer:  Early
Photography
 Great Art         A Short History of
the United States:    The
American Revolution:       Women of the
American Revolution:    Naughty
Colonials:   Major Battles  The American Colonial
Navy  The French Fleet Arrives
Just In Time:  The
American Civil War:        The
Confederate Plot to  New York City:  The Great
Locomotive Chase:  George Armstrong Custer came close to expulsion from the United States Military Academy due to excessive demerits, many from pulling pranks on fellow cadets. He graduated last in his class of 1861. Ordinarily, such a showing would be a ticket to an obscure posting and mundane career, but he had the fortune to graduate just as the war caused the army to experience a sudden need for new officers. Early in the Gettysburg Campaign, Custer's association with cavalry commander Major General Alfred Pleasonton earned him promotion from First Lieutenant to Brigadier General of United States Volunteers at the age of 23 (one of the youngest generals ever). He was also the first Union officer to scout enemy positions from a hot air balloon. Thomas Ward Custer, a younger brother of George Armstrong Custer, was also a United States Army officer during the American Civil War and was a two-time recipient of the Medal of Honor for bravery. He perished with his brother George at Little Bighorn in the Montana Territory.  This definition of Sherman's would later be called Total War by historians. The purpose was twofold. First, it was designed to cripple the South's ability to wage war. Second, it was an attempt to force southern soldiers to make a choice - either fight or desert the army to defend their homes and farms (which seemed to have the desired effect. By 1865, there were approximately 100,000 southern deserters). Virginia's Shenandoah Valley was vital real estate in the Civil War. Economically it was one of the nation's top wheat-growing regions (the Midwestern prairie was not yet broken to the plow) as well as a variety of other food crops. Phillip Sheridan's Shenandoah Valley Campaign called ("The Burning")was a huge success. The Union Army of the Shenandoah left the Southern farmland a desolate landscape of destruction. As testimony to this effort, Sheridan left a written record bearing witness to the scope of his accomplishment. The buildings and materials destroyed or seized included: 1,200 barns, 71 flour mills, 8 sawmills, 7 furnaces, 4 tanneries, 3 saltpeter works, a woolen mill with 1,165 lbs. of cotton yarn, a powder mill, a railroad depot, and 974 miles of rail. The livestock taken included: 15,000 swine, 12,000 sheep, 10,918 cattle, 3,772 horses, 545 mules, and 250 calves, with 435,802 bushels of wheat, 77,176 bushels of corn, 20,397 tons of hay, 500 tons of fodder, 450 tons of straw, 12,000 lbs. of bacon, 10,000 lbs. of tobacco, and 874 barrels of flour.  Sheridan's victory was pivotal. This staggering amount of destruction and confiscation at the hands of his army assured, without a doubt, that the Shenandoah Valley would be useless to the Confederate army and to the South for some time. Without the Shenandoah Valley, Lee's critical supplies were cut off. Without supplies, the end of the Confederacy was indeed in sight. No other campaign in the entire war has contributed more to keeping alive sectional feeling than William T. Sherman's march through Georgia and South Carolina. Sherman and his army of 60,000 Union soldiers began the march through Georgia on November 15th 1864 without benefit of a supply train or any communication with the outside world with his final objective being the coastal city of Savannah. His advantage was that he had been given detailed information on where in Georgia he could best resupply his army and since the march began just after the Georgia crops had been harvested, Sherman's foragers found the Georgia barns bursting with grain, fodder, and peas, the outhouses full of cotton, the yards crowded with hogs, chickens, and turkeys. The soldiers in the Southern armies were starving, not because there was no food, but because the railroads had been destroyed and it was impossible to send supplies to the front. Sherman (who was affectionately called "Uncle Billy" by his soldiers) was not content simply to use what food and supplies he needed, but boasted that he would "smash things to the sea" and make Georgia howl. His men entered dwellings, taking everything of value that could be moved, such as silver plate and jewelry; and killed and left dead in the pens thousands of hogs, sheep and poultry. Many dwellings were burned without any justification. Sherman in his own Memoirs testifies to the conduct of his men, estimating that he had destroyed $80,000,000 worth of property of which he could make no use. This he describes as "simple waste and destruction." One of the most serious aspects of his work was the destruction of the railroads; the Central from Macon to Savannah, for instance, was almost totally ruined.   On the day following Sherman's entry into Savannah he sent this telegram to President Lincoln: "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the City of Savannah, with one hundred and fifty guns and plenty of ammunition, also about twenty-five thousand bales of cotton." The South also used harsh methods. On his march, it was discovered that confederates had planted torpedoes (land mines) in the roads. Sherman found these hidden torpedoes to be contrary to the rules of war. Sherman ordered that Confederate prisoners of war walk the roads ahead of Union troops to locate and dig up these mines. Confederates also murdered Union prisoners of war which prompted Sherman to issue a similar retaliatory order (but Union soldiers considered his order so repugnant, it was seldom carried out).  The Dark Side of the Civil
War Camp Douglas, Chicago, Illinois:  Reconstruction is the era in the U.S. history from 1863 to 1877, when the U.S. focused on abolishing slavery, destroying all traces of the Confederacy, establishing the rights of Freedmen (the name used for freed slaves), and through three new constitutional amendments - the Thirteenth Amendment banning slavery; the Fourteenth Amendment banning race-based voting qualifications; and the Fifteenth Amendment which prohibits denying a citizen the right to vote (strengthening the role of the federal governments and its courts). Reconstruction policies were debated in the North as soon as the war started, and began in earnest after the Emancipation Proclamation, issued on January 1, 1863, and the federal occupation of major parts of southern states allowed the formation of new, loyal state governments. President Abraham Lincoln was the major policymaker until his death in April, 1865. Reconstruction began in each state as soon as federal troops controlled most of the state. It ended at different times in different states. The Compromise of 1877 saw the collapse of the last three Republican state governments in the South, so 1877 is the usual date given for the end of Reconstruction, although some historians extend the era to the 1890s. The bitterness and repercussions from the heated conflicts of the era lasted well into the 20th century. "Reconstruction" is also the term used in textbooks for the history of the entire U.S. 1865-1877. July 24th 1866 -Tennessee was the 1st June 22nd 1868 - Arkansas was the 2nd June 25th 1868 - Florida was the 3rd June 25th 1868 - Alabama was the 4th June 25th 1868 - Louisiana was the 5th June 25th 1868 - North Carolina was 6th June 25th 1868 - South Carolina was 7th (June 25th 1868 - GEORGIA FIRST readmittance) December 22nd 1869 - Second reconstruction for Georgia began(Kicked OUT !) January 27th 1870 - Virginia was the 8th February 23rd 1870 - Mississippi was the 9th March 30th 1870 - Texas was the 10th Mar. 30, 1870 - The 15th Amendment is added to the Constitution. July 15th 1870 - GEORGIA READMITTED AGAIN - Georgia was the 11th and last Confederate state to be readmitted back into the Union.   Religious
Stuff                                    Get Thee to a
Nunnery:                               The Real Temptation in the Garden of Eden:                                         The Spread of the Bubonic Plague:  Atlantis:  Hero of Alexandria: Visitors Since 1 April 2004:  
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